Cod Almighty | Diary

Hey Doctor can you give me something to ease the pain?

26 December 2024

Emergency! Emergency! Paging Dr. Beat! Your Guest Diarist cannot control his feet! The longest football-free days leading up to Christmas have finally succumbed to the joy that is Boxing Day morning. Who let the dogs out? Why the Brocklesby Hunt to chase pretend foxes. But we, the football fraternity, groaning with food and with many aching from booze, are ready to gird those festive waistlines and get down to some serious football action.

No doubt the players are already filling in their daily wellness questionaires telling little white lies about how many Roses they sneaked out of the tin. And cover-up stories about sneaking a couple of cheeky shots whilst they stayed up past bedtime to see what had happened to Nessa and Smithy. But hey, it's Christmas, and it never did Tony Gallimore any harm did it?

Can we beat an out of form Harrogate? Can we put on a decent display for a full 90 minutes at home? The yardstick, as manager Artell has told us ad nauseam, is to play like we did when we lost away at Chesterfield. To be absolutely honest I would rather see a pulsating 2-1 defeat than a drab 1-0 win anyday. But points win prizes and I need to stop thinking like a purist and get behind the push to stay well in the top half of the table.

On Christmas Eve afternoon the TV schedules were full of stuff that's not for me so I resorted to the old peoples channels full of cheap cremation adverts and ill-treated donkeys. But a line from Laura Norder rang true when Lenny Briscoe mused about the Mets; "hey I love 'em - but never bet 'em". Anyone who bets on Town winning today is an optimistic deluded masochist. But by God I hope they do! We Town fans are due a sprinkling of unconfined joy.

The owners tell us that that transformation is more important than performance. Yes, yes, of course it is Jason. But not today. Big crowd, great expectations - give us some dazzle. Don't be frightened of the opposition, make them frightened of us. See yer.