Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Friday 28 March 2025

Division 4

Colchester United 1 Edwards (51)

Grimsby Town 2 Green (46), Khouri (76)

Attendance: 6,986 (532 away fans)

Many were magic without the ball, for this was won in the chalkboards of Cheapside. Green ran and ran and ran through the sand, the back three were quietly effective but Gorgeous McEachran was the glistening, gleaming glazed cherry on the top of the cake of competence.

Le Professeur, Monsieur Arsene Artell, the big game hunter, did see the incidents and saw what he saw:

"We've seen the pitch, we've found one just as bad as ours…It's obviously a big win and deservedly so. It's a big win and if anything we should have won by more, but it's just another three (points), you don't get four because it's a big game."

How perfectly pitched that was.

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I want to tell you a story about a little Junior School sportsmaster, if I can. The impish ex-Impite went all gnomic at this seismic shift in his plans for world domination:

"Credit to Grimsby they were the better team tonight. We accept that. We haven't come this far to come this far"

But Danny Boy doesn't want to talk about all the work they do for charity:

"We haven't used excuses to this point, if we want to be weak we can moan about the pitch…I don’t want to moan about the pitch, I don't want the players to moan about the pitch 'cos we can't do anything about the pitch.

We know it's a challenge when you play against a team like Grimsby who are very direct, we don't have the players to play in that style. Their style on this surface was very effective"

Ain't life a pitch Danny.

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Deep in this League Two jungle where the mighty Mariners lie, Danny and his elephants were taken by surprise as Artell's marvels zapped 'em right between the eyes.

Wright was barely needed. The Cowleyboys were reduced to a single point of danger and Edwards was generally, just about, dealt with. And when he wasn't there was always someone, somewhere, popping up to plop away from lurking stripes.

It was a game of chess in a sandpit where Town won because they had a plan, a simple plan, and every man followed the plan. A supremely splendid team performance in every way.

Unfussy, untroubled and unexpectedly elated in Essex.

Yeah, your pitch, you got to mix it, you got to fix it

The Cowleywobblers were a souped up, amped up version of the old Cowleyball, but with footballers instead of supermarket trolleys. They have the players but not the layers of subtlety or enough layers of grass to get away with it down here in Bargeball central.

Frantic, frenetic and totally out of control. Danny's boys relied on pace and power on the periphery and just got smothered in the centre. Basically they had Edwards, who runs quickly. Very quickly. Very, very quickly.

If they calmed down a bit they'd do much better. But we're not here for their emotional rescue, carry on playing skitterball, that'll do nicely.

Don't write them off just yet, they will overwhelm many a lazing mid-tabler lured to their beach for an in-season mini-break.

Some may have Paris, but we’ll always have the park'n'ride car park in Colchester.

Mr C Breakspear

There was once, just once a decision that was outrageously, possibly, not to our liking. Charming Charles was certifiably non-Cowleycentric, dismayed and displeased by Dannyboy's touchy touchline tantrums: 8.001

Easing our minds with some real cool lines whilst Colchester were in a frenzy.

In a word: swinging