Cod Almighty | Diary
The gaffer this, the gaffer that, the gaffer the other.
17 June 2026
Hello. My name is BOTB Diary and I shall be your host for today's disjointed football-related drivel.
After a dull lull full of nothing, news has started emerging from the Blundell Park sporting arena in recent days. Firstly, of course, Andrew 'Cookey' Cook, the Cookie Monster himself, re-signed for another year and told us he was looking forward to playing in front of Yews Hall, which is presumably a stately home of some description. Then we announced the signing of Guy Fawkes from Westminster, sorry, Joe Foulkes from Kiddyminster, who seems to be a right-back type of bloke. All very nice so far. Nothing there to upset the gentle sense of summery pre-season confidence. Ooh, there's a butterfly.
Tonight is the big kick off for Ingerland as we take on the Croatians from the planet Croat in the World Football Cup of Nations. I must confess I don't watch or take much notice of a lot of premiership football so my conjecturations (new word) on the potential outcome of the match are even more worthless than my conjecturations (there it is again) on the Mariners. I know, eh? Unbelievable. Supporting England is fun, and thats all it should ever be - GTFC will always be the big game wherever they are playing, be it Anfield or Yews Hall. People who fanatically support England always strike me as slightly troubled. Mind you, they are nowhere near as bad as people who were born and bred in Grimsby but support Arsenal or Man City because they are better. By that token they should be supporting France or Germany in this World Cup. Their life decisions simply have no logical coherence.
The best thing about the World Cup so far has been the absence of smiling referees. Whenever I see a smiling ref at BP I know we're in trouble. Referees should be tall, bald, and terrifying. They should never smile until the match is over and they are shaking hands, and even then it should be more of a grimace. You're officiating an event which means a massive amount to millions, ref, not a knobbly knees competition at Butlins. Even if you're laughing inside, on the outside I want you to have the facial expression of Taggart realising the reason for the body in front of him was nae seaside, but mohdur.
The World Cup is going remarkably well so far, despite its location, which can be seen as a triumph of the human spirit and football over politics. There is still time for an orange clown to stick his oar in, but for now, football reigns and may it always do so.
What about the Mbappe 'penalty' I hear you ask? Didn't I? Oh, must have been the wind. Well, I'm going to give you my opinion anyway. The defender didn't touch Mbappe but if you're going to hurl yourself into a challenge the striker has to hurdle over, with subsequent ungainly tumblage, that's a pen. There. The definitive answer.
Come on, Ingerland. Don't be rubbish. And, of course, UTFM.