Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 1 April 2003

1 April 2003

After receiving literally two emails from readers less than amused by the kerrrazy April Fool's Day stories circulating the internet, today's Diary has elected to desist from joining in the 'fun'. In any case, we at Cod Almighty, like GTFC themselves, aim to make you smile all year round; just as every day is Valentine's Day when you're Mrs Diary, every day is April Fool's Day when you read the Diary. Or something.

But there is news of a less than rosy nature to impart; to wit, that the Mariners' universally adored right-back, club captain and saviour of all humankind John McDermott is what they call an early doubt for Saturday's visit to Leicester. Macca has withdrawn from training with a dicky hamstring picked up in the Burnley game t'other week, says BBC Humber Sport, and may miss out this weekend. It also says Stuart Campbell has recovered from his injury, but I didn't even know he had one, so we won't dwell on that.

Those among you who like to track the careers of former Town players will be bidding big for a place on the next space shuttle, as Hamilton Academical's John Walker has hit today's Scottish headlines by failing an SFA drugs test. The former Rangers midfielder, who scored one goal in three appearances during his stint with the Mariners in 1995 and 1996, was randomly selected to wee into a jar after playing against Berwick on 8 March and could be fined or banned after a hearing next week. The precise substance in question has not been reported, and the Diary always thinks it's a bit daft to punish footballers regardless of their drug of choice; having a toke could hardly be considered performance-enhancing, after all, unless you are looking specifically for some serious creativity.

Not for the first time, the Diary is ashamed to hold its head up in public today after its hometown was nationally disgraced by a fellow Grimbarian. A feature on Radio Five Live last night highlighted the increasingly global nature of Premiership support these days; and to illustrate the point, the reporter spoke to an assortment of Liverpool 'fans' who gave their origins as Germany, Sweden, Thailand and...Grimsby. Imagine yourself as the reporter. Would you have (a) asked the Grimbarian why he didn't support Town? or (b) just smacked him in the gob?