Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 30 May 2003

30 May 2003

Jake Sagare arrived on these shores last September for a trial with the Mariners that came to rival the McLibel case as the longest in English history before he was finally handed a contract in February; and after a somewhat shorter first-team career - lasting an hour and a half, to be precise - the disused American forward is now flying back to the home of the brave, as long as you've got enough military hardware, and the land of the free, as long as you agree with the president. When Jake first turned up at Blundell Park the now departed Paul Wilkinson remarked upon his similarity to the then departed Michael Boulding; and like Quick Mick, Sagare is lucky enough to have a former club - Portland Timbers - that's only too happy to take him back after his brief flirtation with the relatively big time. The Diary is trying to remember other players whose GTFC career spanned one match and one match alone, but can recall only one-time goalkeeper Lee Pratt, to whom I once lost at conkers and whose twilight shift at Birds Eye I briefly ended up on many years later. Fame, fame, fatal fame. Can you lot think of any?

Speaking of Wilko, Town's former reserve team coach could be set for an instant return to the game, reckons the Grimsby Telegraph, at Lennie Lawrence's Cardiff, who only just scraped promotion to Division One last weekend despite having loads of good players and an absolute bloody shitload of money. If the Riby Square rag is to be believed, there is a "chase to snap up" Wilkinson, whose being made redundant by Town suddenly means he is "rated as one of the promising coaches in the League". Strangely enough, they don't say who's doing the rating. I wonder why that is.

Fans of released Scunthorpe youngsters will be devastated by Paul Groves' denial that Scott Brough is set to join the Mariners. The youthful winger hung around the BP car park for a bit the other week hoping for a contract, but the Town boss is adamant that no deal is on offer. "I haven't spoken to him," Groves tells the Grimsby Telegraph, in a story accidentally interwoven with the the news that Hayden Mullins may be leaving Crystal Palace. Have a look - it's dead funny.

Mark Stilton has been in touch to remind the Diary of an immortal classic in the pantheon of great Roly 'n' John moments, which he can't believe we've skipped, and nor can I. In it the commentator is giving an evocative description of the facilities provided for him when a Town player breaks with the ball, whereupon our man switches seamlessly back to the action with consummate ease and professionalism. "It's only a small gantry as Donovan goes forward..."

Those of you who think Grimsby is clearly a hip and happening place now that it's getting a Starbucks, and who probably still point at aeroplanes, will be delighted to learn of another claim to fame for your hometown. The Diary has been informed by a Grimbarian film fan that "in the cinema yesterday, they showed that ad for Virgin mobile texting - 'the devil makes work for idle thumbs'. Well, right at the end of the ad there is a bottle of tablets on the table with the slogan written on the label. And, if you notice, the address of the dispensing chemist on that label is Grimsby. Probably won't be able to see it on the TV version as it would be too small, but clearly visible at the cinema." You heard it here first, kids.