Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 29 May 2003

29 May 2003

Town's reserve team coach and hero of the 1984 cup win over Everton, Paul Wilkinson, is one of three backroom staff made redundant as the club diverts funds towards creating a team to challenge for promotion back to Division One. "Grimsby Town are not alone in terms of action we have had to take and many other clubs are facing similar difficulties," points out a statement from the club, before reiterating the intention to build a squad of 25 players for the forthcoming second division campaign. The assistant groundsman and an office worker have also been axed. The move "heaps more pressure" on Paul Groves, according to the Grimsby Telegraph. Ho hum.

Friendly news now, and after initially being attracted by the homely charms of Boston and then standing them up when sexy Sunderland flashed a bit of leg, Town now know how it feels. Earlier this month the Pilgrims dutifully pencilled in a game with the Mariners for Saturday 19 July, only to have to put it back a week when the McCarthyites agreed to a date at Blundell Park; and now the boot is very much on the other foot as Middlesbrough, who were supposed to be going to the pictures with GTFC in early August, have decided they would much sooner spend the weekend with a more fashionable companion. And who do you think that might be? "Not content with stealing our players," writes the Diary's source, "Warnock is stealing our games too!"

The Mariners' new sponsor Jarvis, which was responsible for track maintenance where the Potters Bar rail crash occurred last year, faces fresh criticism after a new report all but rules out vandalism as a cause. Immediately after the derailment, which killed seven and injured 76, the firm suggested sabotage was to blame; but the Health and Safety Executive's third progress report in its investigation, issued today, upholds earlier findings that the incident was due to poorly maintained points. Louise Christian, lawyer for survivors and relatives, is calling for a public enquiry into the incident.

Five GTFC youngsters have been handed new scholarship deals by the club. Youth team coach Neil Woods' new kids on the block - Andrew Ward, Miles Chamberlain, Oliver Richardson, Paul Ashton and Ben Howard - are all committing to the Mariners for three-year terms.

Adam Buckley has again followed in his father's footsteps, by being released by Lincoln City, but whether Lincolnshire Police are following suit remains unclear. The young winger was caught by the fuzz two weeks ago on suspicion of theft from LCFC and has now been told his services are no longer required.

A quick dip into the Diary's inbox now, then, and Paul Thundercliffe has emailed about those Town vids. "As somebody lucky enough to have actually co-commentated on one of these masterpieces (Bradford 1994: 'Well Roly, it's disappointing. And I'm disappointed'), I must firstly say how hard it is up there 'in the gods', trying to find the right words but only ever picking 'crikey!' That said, the Town Video Crew make Alan Partridge look professional. I have many favourite moments - 'He's got 13 players out there - who does he substitute?'; 'You will not see a better goal on any pitch anywhere in the world! That was first class!' (Cockers v Huddersfield, 1990). My favourite would be after Cunnington was scythed down for a penalty against Bolton not given by Brian Hill, despite his assistant giving it. Cue John Moore: 'That's a penalty kick. That IS a penalty kick. The linesman is flagging for the fowel!' The best bits of those vids, particularly when they were edited by a man with no hands, eyes, or, indeed, editing experience, were the bits to introduce each month, using the Sports Telegraph as a prompt and their own, very poor, memories. Whilst sitting in the Rutland."

Al Wilkinson covers similar territory. "On the subject of Roly's quotes," he recalls, "my favourite would have to be David Smith's debut and his wonder strike from 3,000 yards out. While the rest of us sat back in awe and wonder of that weapons-of-mass-destruction strike and were struck dumb by the possibility that Mr Buckley may have signed someone who would shoot on sight, Roly immediately saw through that facade by prophetically declaring: 'He'll have to live up to that'. Which, as we all now know, he never did."

Mark Wilson revisits a controversy from last week. "I'm a bit disappointed about the explanation for Jamie Cureton in the religious 11. I thought it was a very clever play on words: Curate-on. But it isn't."

And finally, the Diary is delighted to receive an email from Lee Cobby without a novelty player name XI. "I am not a Trekkie," he writes. "I resent that remark utterly. Star Wars is my bag. And yes, I have been 'laid', as you so crudely put it. I slept with a girl at a convention once. She was wearing a Wookie costume. At least, she said it was a costume."