Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 23 May 2003
23 May 2003
Cod Almighty founder Simon Wilson will be wondering what to rename his cat after Town's surprise decision to release Steve Croudson. The agile young keeper has been shown the door at Blundell Park after sitting out the last 15 months through injury, but had shown tremendous promise on first breaking in to the first team in 1999. "I found out yesterday that I have no future at the club," says the Kitten, "and I'm very disappointed." He said that yesterday though, so it would have been the day before yesterday that he found out. Rumours persist that rookie striker Chris Thompson is to follow Croudson through the door, but these are yet to be substantiated; and nobody, to the best of the Diary's knowledge, has named their cat after him.
Steve and Chris could be bumping into Richard Hughes on his way in, which given the Mariners' record would probably leave him sidelined for a year with a cruciate injury, but let's not worry about that for the moment. Portsmouth have decided that Hughes will be surplus to their leaner, meaner Premiership requirements and announced that the useful left-sided midfielder is one of five players who will be allowed to leave Fratton Park should all the appropriate nibbles be made. Hughes made 12 appearances for Town at the end of the season just finished (or, if you're in the play-offs, just finishing), scoring at the last-day relegation wake against Brighton. We quite liked him, didn't we?
It could take a two-year contract to keep 34-year-old John McDermott at Blundell Park. Macca is back in talks with Town following the breakdown earlier this week of his dream move to Hull but is looking for more than just a 12-month deal, reports the Grimsby Telegraph. "I've got a first division and a second division club interested," says the long-serving captain, dead casual, like, "but, to be honest, I'm favourable towards Grimsby." But after his dalliance with that lot ovver the 'umber, is Grimsby still favourable towards him? He's off on holiday on Sunday, he adds, and wants it all sorted by then. One of these days the Diary will have a holiday. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.
"Well if he's that badly injured, he should get off the pitch!" The Diary never did find out who John Moore was referring to with that utterance, abruptly delivered as it was at the very beginning of the highlights of a match featured on one of Town's infamous official videos. "If it's that badly edited, it should get off the shelf!" came my clever retort. The reason I mention this is that the club has announced the latest addition to the series: the bittersweetly-entitled Down But Not Out, which will be available in both the club's actual physical shop and its shonky online counterpart from Tuesday 3 June, priced at a Macca-retaining £17.99. To be fair, Gary, I think the editing is a bit better these days. But what of the legendary Roly Godfrey? Is he no longer involved?
"No, no, a thousand times no," cries Mark Wilson. I thought for a moment that this was a passionate outcry against the plague of novelty football teams that has blighted the Diary in recent days; not so, though - we are returning to the issue of ugly players, and Mark has emailed to assert the pulchritude of Steve Livingstone. "Livvo looks like Brad Pitt compared to Mark Lever. Lever made grown men cry. I used to try and stand next to him in the Pier to make me look more handsome!" recalls Mark, neglecting to add whether it worked. "To put a twist on Town's 'ugliest' player - i.e. those who played in an ugly manner - Geoff 'Spike' Stephenson, Phil Bonnyman and Lee Ashcroft all made me wince at their unlovely football." I wish you could have seen Peggy in the 1994-95 Black Country derby, Mark. "You made me laugh when you exposed me as a principle-free charlatan," adds our Tring-based correspondent. "If the cap fits..." To which the Diary breathes a big sigh of relief; I was worried I'd pissed him off, and we're in no position here to blithely alienate half our readership.
Alistair Wilkinson, meanwhile, is moved to prose by yesterday's rubbish effort of a biblical XI from Marnix Kolder, which baffled the Diary as to the relevance of Jamie Cureton. "The relationship between Mr Cureton and God/the church could be an apostle thing," suggests Al. "However, they generally went by James and not Jamie, and now Saint James - the big show-offs. There were actually three of them - one was the son of a fisherman named Zebedee (reason enough to admit him into a Town team on name basis alone), also the patron saint of Spain - get him on board and perhaps he could sign up Raul. Another was one of the disciples, and finally the third was the brother of the man himself, Jesus, and not the president of one of the Madrids either. Apparently he was the first to see His son after the resurrection. Now that would be a friend in a high place - all together now: 'sign him up, sign him up...". Or maybe it's just that Cureton rhymes with puritan. All right then, I don't know either. Here endeth the lesson." Actually, Al, Marnix emailed the Diary after I publicly scorned his XI to explain that Cureton sounds a bit like curate. I think I prefer your explanations though.
All of which has left this diarist gagging for a pint. Have a nice weekend, everyone.