Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Sunday 29 June 2003

29 June 2003

Splendid news for Town fans with no lives! Yep - just because we're out of Division One, doesn't mean we can't still play football on Friday nights; and September's jaunt up the east coast to Hartlepool has been brought forward by 19 and a quarter hours to the evening of the 12th. Ah well, you may be thinking, at least Town will get a few grand out of the TV fee. But how wrong you would be, for it isn't even gonna be on the telly; Friday night togger just seems to be the done thing up Cleveland way. "After the success of Friday night football last season we will be hoping for bumper crowds at Victoria Park in Division Two," reads a statement on Pool's official site. Either way, it's not going to be much fun to get back from after the match.

Ironically - heh! - the Diary stayed in on Friday night because most of our mates who live close by were at Glastonbury. Me, I'd sooner go and see local bands than shell out a huge wodge of my not-so-hard-earned for all that corporate bollocks, but there was nobody decent on. Mrs Diary and I had a lovely afternoon shopping yesterday, you will be pleased to learn, from which I returned with a book of old postcard photographs of Lincolnshire railway stations, from Cleethorpes to Stamford and many points between. I think the close season is starting to take its toll on my sanity.

Not to mention Peter Furneaux's patience with Danny Coyne, as an interview on Mariners World finds the Town chairman a tad testy over the uncertainty surrounding the player's future. The club gave permission for Coyne to speak to other clubs, explains Pete, and agreed to cancel his contract if he got fixed up by 20 May. That hasn't happened, despite reported interest from Burnley, Ipswich and Coventry; and Town could obviously do with knowing whether he's coming or going, so as to sign a replacement if required. "We can't prolong this forever," the chairman spells out. In the meantime, he adds, the club will try out a younger keeper in pre-season - presumably Andy Pettinger - to see whether he'll be up to first-team football come August. We can only assume, then, that the Welsh one will have to report to BP for training tomorrow with the rest of the squad.

The disaffected youth of Lincoln could be set for lessons in crossing the ball and shirking tackles as part of the 120 hours' community service to which Adam Buckley was sentenced following his trial at the city's magistrates' court on Friday. The former Town winger pleaded guilty to stealing from other players during his spell with Lincoln City, with the judge presumably exercising leniency in his sentencing given the post-ITV Digital wages the Imps are paying. Indeed, so desperate is the financial situation at Sincil Bank that destitute one-time Mariners centre-half Matt Bloomer is thought to be considering a transfer to one of the Indonesian sweatshops that manufacture his kit.

Number three in the Diary's series of Reasons I Hate Wimbledon is the sexism. The way the scoreboards and umpires still refer to Miss Dokic or whoever, but when it comes to the men it's just plain old Agassi. I mean, hello? Are we stuck in the 1950s here? And the big strong macho men like Timmy Henman can breeze through five sets, but the delicate little flowers like Venus Williams had best just stick to the three, poor dears. Pah! I know that bit's not just Wimbledon, but hey. Five sets would be a proper test of athleticism and sort out the real women from the mimsy, malnourished pre-pubescent girls who should probably be revising for their SATs or something instead.