Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Sunday 24 August 2003

24 August 2003

First of all, heartfelt apologies for the absence of a Saturday Diary this weekend: what with events at Kenilworth Road proceeding well beyond five o'clock, it was time to go straight out again by the time I got home. But anyway: wahey, we kept 11 players on the pitch, Anderson and Boulding have now got three each, and Town won; and the Diary for one felt it was nice to do to Luton what always seems to be done to Town - namely going one up and absorbing a lot of pressure while hardly giving them a sniff of an actual chance, surviving a few valid-looking penalty appeals and finally nicking off with the points. The penno actually given, by the by, was well dodgy, so I don't think the Lutonites can complain too much. And polite clapping, please, for a much improved showing from Mr Jason Crowe. Lovely. Tomorrow's bank holiday Diary will appear at teatime, by the way, after the Wycombe match.

Town's first win of the season is likely to be followed by the first changes to the team, Crowe being one of several injury concerns ahead of tomorrow's game as the squad emerged battered and deep-fried from Bedfordshire last night. "Jason Crowe's turned his knee," explains Paul Groves, "Marcel Cas has got a kick on the knee, Anderson's got a kick on the knee, Craney's got a sore back, Simon's got a cut above his eye - they are the ones I know about. There's quite a few that are carrying knocks at the moment." Town fans looking for more reasons to worry will note the Chairboys' loan acquisition of Iffy Onuora, who after what seems like 30 years of scoring against the Mariners was one of the strikers linked with a summer move to Blundell Park. The player debuted against Chesterfield yesterday, heading down to set up Wycombe's second goal in a 3-3 draw.

After the series of controversial sendings-off that have marred some of Town's early-season outings, the Diary's little match previews will now be including a new feature, Markie's Refwatch, in which Cod Almighty's Mark Stilton examines the recent record of the official who will take charge of the Mariners' next game, forecasting mayhem and certain doom if necessary. Who's the bastard in the black tomorrow, then, Mark? "A Mr Colin Webster of Shotley Bridge (County Durham). Scunthorpe fans may remember him as the referee who sent off three players in two minutes in their recent League Cup encounter against Oldham." Surely he can't be all bad then? "Last season he issued 109 yellow and seven red cards in just 36 matches. This included sending off Simon Ford in the 3-3 home draw against Preston." Ah. And what did Tony Butcher's report make of him? "Generally seemed to have little comprehension of the dynamics of football. Never really grasped what was going off out there. A dangerous referee to have in a game involving physical teams and/or physical supporters." So how will this affect tomorrow's game, Mark? "Oh God. We're screwed."

Where can the Grimbarian turn for solace in the face of such disheartening news? Why, to the nearest source of schadenfreude, of course, who right now happens to be a certain right-sided midfielder who walked out on the Mariners not so very long ago to join a club with top-flight ideas. It didn't quite work out that way for Barnsley, of course; and now that the big weekly wodge of wonga that may also have played some part in luring him to Oakwell no longer befits his club's straitened circumstances, Kevin Donovan will have to find another side with "Premiership ambitions" if he wants to keep the dream alive. "He is now in the situation where it is in his best interests and that of the club if he moves on and we are trying to find a club for him," whispers Tykes boss Gudjon Thordarson. "Kevin's salary is quite high compared to the players I would bring in as well so it would be good for the club to find a solution." Two parts sulphuric acid to one part mercuric chloride would probably work, Gudjon, but I can't see the PFA being too happy.