Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 15 January 2004

15 January 2004

In a now familiar sequence of events, GTFC has issued an 'official statement' on its website in response to a Grimsby Telegraph article, in this case yesterday's bombshell story that Marcel Cas's contract is to be cancelled, in which the player gave almost lurid detail of a bust-up between him and Paul Groves. Pinstripe Furneaux's response, by comparison, is a disappointing masterpiece of restraint, stating simply that Cas asked to be released in order to return to his family back in Holland - which was always quite a strange set-up, really, wasn't it - and that "in view of Marcel's statement to the press yesterday the matter needs to be brought to a speedy conclusion". One foresees a near-repeat of last summer's dash to Humberside Airport by club officials anxious for Chris Bolder to sign a new contract before his holiday, except this time the footballer could be in the car with them, possibly bound and gagged with gaffer tape and bundled into the boot.

Groves, meanwhile, is as yet unable to answer the question on every Town fan's lips, namely: "Does this mean we can sign Nick Daws?" Asked by the Grimsby Telegraph whether the cash freed up from Cas's wages will allow him to bring in a replacement, an alarmingly casual Town boss responds: "At this moment we'll have to wait and see. It hasn't been discussed yet." Well bloomin' well go and discuss it, then, Grovesie! Cuh! Groves also reveals that Stuart Campbell's knee injury could run and run. "We're sending him for an MRI scan to see the extent of the damage," says PG. "Would you believe the machine was broken earlier in the week?" Paul, I've been a Grimsby fan for 25 years. I would believe it.

The Mariners' FA Cup dreams may be perished to eternal dust for another year, but fellow east coast strugglers Scarborough have progressed to a glamorous, cash-vomiting tie with boring Chelsea - thanks to a former Town player. Mark Quayle - whose key contribution to civilisation in North East Lincolnshire was a game for the reserves that resulted in the memorable Grimsby Telegraph headline Quayle hits bar - fired Boro into the fourth round for the first time in their 125-year history with a late goal against Southend in last night's replay. Prize money and TV fees for Quayle's side will total over £300,000 - enough to pay Scarborough's wage bill for two years, apparently. Or, to put it another way, Phil Jevons for a month.

Still poorly, by the way. All these cough and cold medicines are just a big con, if you ask me. I'm off to get pissed.