Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 17 February 2004

17 February 2004

"Boulding released by Wales," reads the first of the notes I have made in preparation for today's Diary, so what a good job I've got my head screwed on and realised my mistake before making a complete arse of myself. It is, of course, Darren Barnard who has been allowed by the Welsh manager Mark Hughes to return to Blundell Park for tonight's encounter with Bristol City, which is excellent news for Mariner types because (a) Bristol City are quite good; and (b) Town haven't got any other left-backs. I dunno who this Boulding character might be. The entirely predictable bad news is that Daz the Baz is a fitness doubt, according to the club's official site, along with Stacy Coldicott and Lee Thorpe.

What of the visitors? If you're quick enough you can get a look at Simon Wilson's preview before it gets edited (you'll know from whether the word 'rhetorical' is spelt correctly in the fourth line), and as for team news the BBC reports that "Clayton Fortune remains their only injury doubt with an ankle problem." The Grimsby Telegraph begs to differ, averring that "Danny Wilson's side could be without left-back Matthew Hill, who picked up a knock in the 1-0 win over Peterborough at the weekend." Who to believe? Well, Stuart Rowson wasn't mentioned in the Hutton Report last time I looked.

If the answer is Glenn Cockerill then the question must surely be: "Who is the man named in today's instalment of the Telegraph's 'guess the new Town manager' project?" The popular local newspaper, after kicking off with Keith Alexander and then pondering Graham Rodger, is today talking Cockers senior, probably because everyone else had forgotten about him until now. The Grimsby-born former Southampton midfielder is currently cutting his managerial teeth - urrgh! - at Woking, who are mid-table in the Conference but three places above Nigel Clough's Burton Albion. "Rodger is refusing to comment on his obvious desires for the full-time manager's job," adds the Telegraph in its preview of tonight's match, though, so presumably his head glows maroon when you mention it, or something.

Speaking of Rodger, which we seem to be, Town's unreasonably maligned caretaker manager has taken a step downwards in the Diary's estimation since earning a gold star for the weekend's Coldicott/canine metaphor. His predecessor Mr Paul Groves may have suffered from a curious aversion to personal pronouns ("Chris Thompson has done Chris Thompson's chances no harm out there and if Chris Thompson wants a regular place then Chris Thompson will have to keep playing like Chris Thompson did today") but at least knew his limitations, whereas Golden Graham today attempts a little metalinguistic analysis only to fall flat on his arse. "There was a lot of commitment, a lot of desire and a lot more of those adjectives spring to mind," he says of last Saturday's win over Brighton, and he can win all the games he likes but the Diary won't support him until he's done some revision.

In other news, BBC Humber has Grezbo Rodge musing over what to do about Aidan Davison's red card the other day (three match-ban ahoy; no chance of appeal being upheld); the Telegraph is saying Alan Pouton has "hit out at the Grimsby Town bosses" but if you read the piece he has done no such thing; and Loughborough Mariner has emailed the Diary to ask: "What about Tony Ford for manager? What's he doing now after Steve Parkin got sacked from Barnsley?" He's back at Rochdale with Parkin, LM, and we have to have an experienced Lennie Lawrence type this time, anyway - it's the law - although I can't help wondering whether he could do a job as an emergency left-back.

Finally, if you're struggling to get pregnant, then remember that every responsible adult attending tonight's match gets a free child.