Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 19 March 2004
19 March 2004
I'm sure this windy Friday will find all the defenders in the Town squad sheltering in the dressing room, polishing their boots in anticipation of a game. New manager Mr Law (who leers out scarily from a very large photo on the official site this morning) is bound to pick at least seven of 'em, don't you reckon? Your guest diarist (that's me) groaned, gentle reader(s), when he clicked on the link to discover that said Law is threatening to add another player to the massed ranks of the Town squad. Probably because he wants to play five centre halves strung across the back, with full backs as wing backs, and Barnard and Crowe in the centre of midfield, or summat. On a brighter note, provided that our Isiaiahah can hop from the penalty spot to the halfway line without stopping by Monday, Law is promising to sign him up on loan for the rest of the season. At least I can recognise Rankin. Well, I could the last time I saw him.
Having said that, a hot-off-the-press release now tells me that we have got the pleasure of the company of Mickael Antoine-Curier until the end of the season. I saw this French geezer play against Town at Notts County the other week. He scored, and is, in a few words, a gangly streak of piss. County have joined a lengthening list of clubs who have dispensed with 'Marie's' services. Seven clubs by the age of 21 says quite a lot about him. Young Mickael, however, has quite a lot of excuses and histrionics to explain his turbulent career. Read them and weep. Curier will be player number 36 for Town this season as he will, no doubt, 'go straight in to the reckoning for tomorrow's game'. Groan. At this rate they will be using till rolls as voting slips for the player of the season awards.
Also reported by the mouthpiece of the club is the news that Jason Crowe has recovered from that groin strain. Stacy is still trying to shake his off, apparently, which is not, my Mum says, how to get a groin strain better. Trying rubbing it with a dock leaf, Stace, she says. Jonny Rowan and Iain 'Aqualung' Anderson are both limping better and should figure in Law's 'plan'. Macca is nearly fit, but both he and Crowe need match practice, it is said. After about a million games you'd think Macca would just purse his lips and blow, wouldn't you?
The Grimsby Telegraph is to be applauded for co-operating with the club to offer discount vouchers for the Hartlepool game tomorrow. Buy the paper today, get the pinking shears out and snaffle the vouchers, which entitle grown-up people to get in to any stand tomorrow for a tenner. Kids and OAPs need just four quid, and everyone can get money off programmes, beef teas, pies, etc as well, via four other vouchers. A cracking week for pensioners all round, what with that electioneering, budget giveaway, council tax thingy they got.
The official site also reports a fascinating list of seasonal statistics. Town have had 15 scorers, over 50 bookings and loads sent off. On a more curious note, I have calculated that Hockless has had 3.4 messageboard pleas for his inclusion for each minute he has played this season, and that Hamilton has made a mistake every 5.9 minutes (or 79.8 per cent of the times he has been within playing distance of the ball). If you want to see my workings, sadly the dog just ate them.
Look North, which featured Cod Almighty's very own Pete Green the other night, made a bit of a dog's dinner about the 'Grimsby is not in Yorkshire' slogan on our T-shirts. The Benny Hill-style vignette starring Dave Otter waddling over the hallowed turf of Blundell Park gave the impression that the piece was all about how much we hate Yorkies. As Pete patiently explained to Peter and Helen, it is all to do with geographical accuracy, and Yorkshire is quite a nice place really. By the way Dave, you might want to buy one of our T-shirts in the right size, coz the one you borrowed the other day looked a bit tight on your 'muscular' frame...