Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 22 April 2004

22 April 2004

Prepare to be aroused by a proclamation! GTFC have called a press conference for next Tuesday for what they describe as an "exciting announcement" about the club's future, which can mean one of three things: Nicky Law is being replaced by Martin O'Neill with immediate effect; Associated British Ports has given the club 10 acres of land completely free for a new stadium complex built around the docks; or they've discovered a seventh set of rare plates to auction on QXL. Or they might be announcing the Young's sponsorship, which the Diary reported in January (as a fact, not a rumour, fact fans). The conference is scheduled for 10:00am, so get those index fingers in training now for a lot of clicking on your 'refresh' button.

Just as fishermen are a superstitious breed, so Grimsby Town supporters tend to perceive their team as the plaything of Fate, that capricious goddess who may see fit to bear up your fortunes on a sunbeam but is equally likely to grind your hopes into the dust with the heel of her knee-high leather boots. So it is that many a Mariner will hear the news of Luke Beckett's possible return to the Stockport team this Saturday, turn around, and say: "Cuh!" The Sheffield-born frontman, who has scored 40 goals for the Hatters in just 72 appearances, has been sidelined since September with a cruciate ligament injury but certainly knows how to pick his moments. "I'd love to be on the bench," says Beckett of this weekend's big crunchy clash. "It's such a big game, you could come on for the last couple of minutes and score and it's been things like that I've been thinking about while I've been out for so long." You and the Diary both, Luke.

Scunthorpe United may not be quite dead and buried, but after their stiffs played Town yesterday they're certainly digging Graves. Iron midfielder Wayne Graves, that is - who scored the opening goal in the 2-2 draw between the two reserve sides. Town hit back to lead 2-1 (and I don't know who scored because the only place I could find out about the match was in the Scunny Telegraph, and they don't bloody care) but conceded an equaliser shortly before the interval. Whether Mickael Antoine-Curier's ankle proved its match fitness or crumbled to dust is not yet known.

Have you seen Polythene Pam? Town fans intending to travel to the season's curtain-bringer-downer at Prenton Park on 8 May are urged to take their seats at 2:59pm and no sooner, as the Diary has discovered that the game will be preceded by a vocal performance from the winner of the Tranmere Rovers Karaoke Challenge (in conjunction with Wirral's Buzz 97.1). This daily news column writer person, for one, has long believed that the best form of pre-match entertainment is generally to be had in a pint glass, and my determination to stay in the pub until the very last moment has only been strengthened by the prospect of the Mariners' second division swansong being prefaced by a bottle-blonde scouse bint drowning out the Mersey foghorns with 'I Will Survive'.

Tickets for Town's final home game of the season, meanwhile - against Brentford on 1 May - are reckoned by the club's official website to be shifting satisfactorily, though these days that could mean a whole dozen have been sold. Diary readers, though, can have themselves a pair free, gratis, complimentary and without charge, by offering correct answers in this week's quiz - and if you're smart enough to read the Diary then you're sure as hell not too soft in the head to bang out three right 'uns to these very simple questions about GTFC. So without any further adieu, I will bid you ado with today's final question.

Mariners legend Paul Futcher joined the club from Halifax in the 1990-91 season. What was the transfer fee?

• there was no fee
• £10,000
• £100,000

That is all. Mail your answers to diary@codalmighty.com, with a subject line of whatever you bloody well like, and if you haven't entered yet then it's not too late; the Diary will accept all three answers at once. You have until I reach a computer after the Stockport game on Saturday. Until then, it's over to Guest Diary tomorrow, as usual. T'ra.