Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 25 August 2004

25 August 2004

Der-diddly deerrr-da-DAH, der-diddly DEERR-da-dah, der-diddly deerrr-da-DAH, der-diddly DEERR-da-dah, der-diddly deerrr-da-DAH, der-diddly DEERR-da-dah, BAP-BAARR der dahdle-ah DAH! But it's not Michael Parkinson who's on the Diary's mind today; it's Andy Parkinson, for his was the goal that separated the sides last night as Town saw off second-flight pacesetters Wigan in the best team performance I have seen from a GTFC side this side of the millennium. Ooh by golly we were good. I even offered to get out of bed and make Mrs Diary some scrambled eggs on toast this morning. That's how good.

One would not be altogether surprised, in fact, if Mrs Slade found herself the recipient of a similar gesture concerning start-of-day comestibles, as her other half sounds every bit as pleased as me. " I believe we can get better and I believe we've brought in the right type of player," he has told the Grimsby Telegraph. "Hopefully we can now go from strength to strength," adds Noddy, doing little to assist the Diary's best efforts not to get too carried away and think the P-word. Fans who, being unaccustomed to all this optimism, seek a cynicism fix to alleviate feelings of giddiness are advised to hit Town's official website Howhardcanitbe.com, which gave an incorrect starting line-up for the second game in succession, this time giving the name Jones where Pinault should be.

Tattooed Arsenal fan Michael 'Not As Good As Richard Hughes' Keane scored in Hull's League Cup tie with Wrexham last night, and created another, but to no avail as the Humber region's leading council-subsidised football club exited the tournament on penalties, while more former Mariners found goalnets elsewhere: Lee Thorpe, Jack Lester and Iain Anderson, if you're interested in that sort of thing. It's not like any of them can hold a torch to Parky, is it.

Mark Wilson, from whom it is always nice to hear, has emailed the Diary on the subject of "Ooh, cult heroes", which has been keeping some of us off the streets this week. "Where do I start?" he ponders. "Has to be Chima Okorie. Signed from a team in India, strapping six-footer, marked his arrival with a screamer away at Palace that turned a routine beating into an awakening of hope, seemed to cause Alan Buckley to lose even more hair, got an injury and never played again. Fantastic." You're not the only one who thinks so, Mark. "Then there's Geoff Stephenson, plucked from Bradley and looked like it." Ooh, now I remember the name from squad lists but can't recall ever seeing him play... "Phil Bonnyman, shit midfield waster. Lee Ashcroft, couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo... Don't stop me, I'm on a roll..." Which is more than Ashcroft ever was, sadly. He was never going to be as good as Andy Parkinson, was he.

Lastly but certainly not leastly, Simon Wilson's email to the Diary hints at his encyclopaedic knowledge of old football things. In response to Dan Rand's suggestion yesterday that Town's defensive injury crisis might result in Russ having to field a 2-5-3 formation, the Leeds-based match preview maestro writes: "I think the old school 2-3-5 would be far more fun. That is all." I assume it's his encyclopaedic knowledge of old football things anyway, and not a reference to Ossie Ardiles' little-known spell as manager of the fifth years' team at King Edward VI School.

So, yeah - Paula Radcliffe or Andy Parkinson. There are hugs going begging at Chez Diary.