Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 6 October 2004

6 October 2004

Followers of the advice in yesterday's Diary to, and I quote, "tootle along to BP for a glance at the future of the club" were amply rewarded as Town's youth team had the better of an eventful Midlands Floodlit Cup match against Swindon at Blundell Park last night. The visitors struck back twice against a three-goal half-time lead for the Mariners' young 'uns, only for Neil Woods' lads to make it 4-2 late on, with goals from Danny North and Miles Chamberlain and a brace from the previously-unknown-to-the-Diary Andy Taylor. Following the success of the club's 'two free kids' offer at attracting a young audience to recent home matches, Town's official website unnecessarily traumatises thousands of child internet users by recording the defeat of Swindon's youth team with the fantastically grisly headline Little Red Robins Shot Down.

"Judging by the average age of our reserves this season I find it impossible to believe the reserves and the youth teams can possibly play a match simultaneously." These are the words of a Diary reader calling himself Hollyoaks Guy, who may have to acquaint himself with the concept of willing suspension of disbelief, because while the youth of GTFC were earning stripes by unleashing round after round of semi-automatic rifle fire into a flock of defenceless feathered animals, the club's second string was being beaten 3-1 at Boston. Colin Cramb, whose substitution for Ashley Sestanovich during last Friday's stupid 1-1 draw against Cheltenham might well have ensured three points for the Mariners had it actually happened and not existed merely as a figment of the Diary's wishfully thinking imagination, scored "and will be in the 16-man squad for Friday", when Town travel to Northampton, says Russell Slade, helpfully. "Oh, and was it a trick question asking what 'beholden' means?" adds Mr Guy. It's always a trick question, Hol.

"That tagline is still there," grumbles Tony Butcher in another email to the Diary. Yes, it is. Nobody has emailed with any suggestions for a replacement, is why.

Slade's admirable determination to shake off the legacy of last season, and make his team actually run about a bit sometimes in the hope of occasionally stopping the other team score, has taken him and his players to Grimsby's Bluecrest seafoods factory, where they will presumably learn what 'work ethic' really means. "It is good for the players to come down and see what it is all about because all most of them have ever known is football," McMenemy, sorry, Slade told the Grimsby Telegraph. "And it will do the factory workers good to meet the people who pay their wages. Some of these fish finger packers earn in one twilight shift what a current Grimsby Town player can only dream of taking home in his entire career."