Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 24 November 2004

24 November 2004

Grimbarians who may have taken a particular dislike to Kidderminster left-back Jon Beswetherick, and wished to see Town get him sacked in two consecutive seasons after Marcel Cas gave him the runaround at Hillsborough last September, will be disappointed by the news that it is in fact Youssou Diop who is to be shown the door at Aggborough following Harriers' 2-1 defeat in Cleethorpes last Saturday. Immediately following his hilarious spat with Kiddy physio Jimmy Conway, the fast but not terribly skilful forward was subbed off, and in the cold light of four days later Diop the Strop is being ushered out of Worcestershire quicker than you can say "saucy git". For providing a brief but glorious moment of comic relief in the bleakest of epochs, Youssou, the Diary offers a hearty salute, and expects to see you reporting for trial at Blundell Park early next week.

Secondly today, the Diary's thoughts turn, as they so often do, to Tony Crane's articular cartilage (a phrase that works particularly well, incidentally, when chanted to the melody of "You're going home in the back of an ambulance"). After yesterday's incisive example of investigative journalism whereby the Diary sensationally exposed a DEAD LINK on Town's official website which stopped Crane fans listening to the player's interview about his return from injury, the OS has now added the words "Link now fixed" to the appropriate section of its front page. Too late! I've read about it on the BBC now! The expansively buttocked Mariners defender hopes to return to action by the end of January, and judging by the tone of his comments - "This league will suit me... dealing with the physical aspects of the game" - he will be aiming to make up for lost time in his quest to accumulate more red and yellow cards than any other footballer in the history of time.

With the other week's humiliation at Glanford Park painfully fresh in the memory, and the four home fixtures in the 17 December-8 January period threatening to leave me all Towned out, the Diary has decided to give the Lincoln game just after Chrimbo a miss. And it looks like I'm not the only one, as only 200 tickets have so far been shifted for the only bank holiday local derby all season. Hey, well, you can have too much of a good thing, you know.

"Why is the GTFC OS selling a signed photo of legendary dogsbody Nobby?" writes Dave the Engineer in an email to the Diary. "By the look of the picture he hasn't aged well - must be all that forking of the pitch, or carrying the keys to the royal establishment that is BP." Dunno, Dave, but thanks for not crowbarring in a Slade reference this time. A Diary reader calling himself Sibbo, meanwhile, but who was christened David Burton, has emailed to agree that yes, Young Greg is better than Rob Jones. "If this is Dave the Engineer of Lincs FM fame," adds Sib, "I know he's looking for a Hillman Imp (you know those 1960s cars with no boot room cos it was full of engine). Where would he put Noddy's hat?" Gah!

Isn't "Lincs FM fame" an oxymoron?