Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 25 November 2004
25 November 2004
When the Diary was a little 'un, and was forced to undertake perilous ten-week Arctic voyages on the trawlers as a mascot for the superstitious fishermen in order to cobble together a few pennies to buy the latest New Order album, the other kids used to watch Sylvester Stallone films on Betamax and come to school drawling: "Don't push me!" and miming the action of firing rocket launchers at the Vietcong. Little did any of us know that a few short decades later we would be anxiously scouring an amazing high-technology information source called the internet in search of news relating to another Rambo altogether: Simon Ramsden, most recently employed as a centre-half for Grimsby Town Football Club, now missing in action in the fourth division jungle. The former Sunderland man - clearly the best central defender on Town's books by a country mile - hasn't cleverly brought the ball out from the back since leaving the field against Rochdale in early September, but is now recovering nicely from his neck injury and could be playing again within a month. Please God.
As the Mariners inch gingerly towards tomorrow evening's seismic clash with Southend United, all may not yet be lost in Mr Russell Slade's epic struggle to sign Richie Barker. The Rotherham striker, who has made, like, one appearance all season or something crazy like that, turned down proposed loan moves to Town and Brentford ahead of last weekend's round of games, but BBC Humber saw this thing on ITV the other week and they still reckon we could be in, even raising the quite dizzying prospect of an initial loan deal being made permanent next week. Just to keep us on our toes, the possibility is mentioned that GTFC's violent fourth division rivals Mansfield may also be working up a vigorous appetite for a taste of Barker's goalscoring feet. Crumbs, DM.
The trial of six footballers on charges of rape, including probably the second best central defender on Town's books, Terrell Forbes, has resumed at Kingston Crown Court, rather than the Old Bailey, and now it's only five. The BBC reports that charges have been cleared against one of Forbes co-accused, Kevin George - who, incidentally, failed another kind of trial at Blundell Park in early 2003. "I'm determined to get back into the game professionally. I will try somewhere," announced the player, as his agent opened the contacts list on his mobile and frantically keyed s-l-a-d-e.
Well, is "Lincs FM fame" an oxymoron? "That depends if you work for Chandler's Oil and Gas," writes Al Wilkinson in an email to the Diary. And as I gently incline my head, the better to hear the unmistakable sound of a reference flying over it, I will bid you farewell until tomorrow. Tomorrow? Yes, readers: next week I am on holiday from being the Diary, but I'm feeling a bit clingy, so instead of your regular Special Guest Diary this Friday, I shall be sticking around for you to give me lots of electronic hugs before waving tearfully as my virtual taxi departs. 'Til then, adieu.