Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 22 November 2004

22 November 2004

What am I supposed to play my 1997-98 season highlights video on now, eh?

Striker search continues is today's top story on Town's official website, and while people are still seeking a cure for the common cold, proof of the existence of God, and intelligent life elsewhere in the Universe, why would GTFC abandon a quest that's been in progress for a mere decade? The club's need to replace Clive Mendonca remains in evidence despite Saturday's painfully narrow 2-1 win over Kidderminster, and after failing last Friday to render Rotherham's Richie Barker unconscious with chloroform and bundle him into the boot of his Beamer, Mr Russell Slade today announces: "You don't want to bring someone in for the sake of it. They have to be someone you think can make a difference and help us out." The Diary cannot help but wish Noddy had thought of this before loaning Chris Williams, Jon Daly and thingy Robinson forgotten his name already.

A quick glance at BBC Humber, then, and your licence fee is this week paying for a shoddily punctuated story which begins with the observation that "Grimsby Town start this week in a better state than last week". Sadly, some might say, this does not preface a revelation that the Mariners have jumped on the football franchising bandwagon and relocated to Sweden.

It's a rare occurrence, but it does happen from time to time: no, not the Diary being wrong - although, before I heard it, I did briefly think the first Polyphonic Spree album might be worth listening to - we're talking about Michael Boulding scoring for a club other than GTFC. Keen scrutineers of football's third division will have spotted that the former volleyball star found the net for Barnsley at the weekend for only the third time since joining the self-aggrandising Oakwell club in February. The player's other two Tykes strikes came in his side's 4-3 home defeat by Luton back in August, and Boulding goals continue not only to resemble the excrement of wooden equine toys but also to portend ill fortune for Barnsley, as his efforts were again wasted on Saturday, when Oldham overcame the South Yorkists by three goals to two. Quick Mick's club lies in 20th place, keeping out of the relegation spots only on goal difference. No, I'm not choking on something - it's laughter.

"I knew we would start winning if we play Slade songs before we run out," writes Dave the Engineer in an email to the Diary. "It's all to do with Noddy appearing on the road to nowhere Friday night." No, readers; I've no idea either.