Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 28 December 2004

28 December 2004

Leave me alone, I'm watching the Royal Institution Christmas Lectures (which have been poached by Channel 4 as a fig leaf of intellectual respectability). This year a Brummie academic is telling a load of posh kids about how enormous life forms, such as the three-ton elephant seal, thrive in freezing conditions. Which may also go some way to explaining Russell Slade's shall we say interesting preference for Rob Jones over Dean Gordon in the Boxing Day stalemate against Macclesfield. While we're on the subject of Noddy's curious selection policy, Father Christmas was good enough to bring the Diary a DVD player but neglected to include the necessary leadage to make the bloody thing work. What has this to do with the two points dropped on Sunday? Well, reader, it's like signing a decent-looking new striker and then dropping your playmaker.

All of which is easy for me to say - indeed, in Lennie Lawrence's day the Diary was sometimes known to attain 80 furious words per minute - but I'm not "in the game", you see. Russ seems to be losing patience quickly with the likes of you and me wondering which planet some of his teamsheets are faxed over from, and has muttered testily to the Grimsby Telegraph: "Fans have a right to shout for their favourite players, but I pick a side to win a game." A perfect response, with just the one minor flaw.

You will probably have seen by now that Deano Gordo has seen his arse and done one in response to Sunday's idiosyncratic team selection - if that's his fucking attitude then Town are better off without him - and that Colin 'More Clubs Than Quid' Cramb is also likely to be on his way in the not-too-distant, to an unknown Scandinavian destination, where a longer-term contract and sanctuary from the creditors doubtless await. Graham 'Laboratoires Garnier' Hockless and Tony Crane, interestingly, could be the next two on their way out of BP, according to that renowned source of rumours, er, Town's official website - though Crane's departure will be contingent upon the Norwegian Gate being widened sufficiently to facilitate egress for his great big humungous arse.

GTFC may still be the best supported club in Lincolnshire but this is scant consolation to those who are spending the festive period gazing wistfully at the tables and wondering just how the team came to be looking up the fourth division at all three of its county neighbours. Which is me. The next chance Mr Slade's ragtag band of desperados has to restore the natural balance of the potato county comes tomorrow night, when their team coach totters hopefully down the A46 to Sincil Bank, and Lincoln officials are hoping the weather holds up. Town aren't allowed to have bank holiday derbies any more, but the Imps were due to play at Boston on Boxing Day until the climate intervened. Some feared a repeat tomorrow night; however, City's stadium manager Nigel Dennis has told the Lincolnshire Echo: "Temperatures are not expected to drop below three degrees, so that would be more than OK. There is no need for supporters to panic." Not until we see Rob Jones lining up in Town's defence again, anyway.