Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 3 February 2005
3 February 2005
Steam. Mud. Cup-a-Soup. Natural gas. Bacardi Breezer. Town's defence. The Diary's chances of writing an unlaboured introduction. All of these things can, at the time of writing, safely be described as less than solid, but for the penultimate item in the list this may not be the case for very much longer. This is because GTFC centre-half Justin Whittle, whose days in the army have very clearly bestowed rock-like qualities upon him, could return to the side for this Saturday's trip to Bristol Rovers after recovering from the ankle injury that has precluded his kicking a ball thus far in 2005. Rob Jones and Sir John McDermott may not be fit to play, though. "Whits is getting fitter and could be in contention again for Saturday," Mr Russell Slade has told the Grimsby Telegraph. "We'll see how he is after his run out for the reserves." This was before his run-out for the reserves.
Which brings us almost too neatly to the reserve game in which Whittle had his run-out. This, in case you've forgotten already, was scheduled to take place at Blundell Park yesterday afternoon, and, unremarkably, it did. The home side scored two goals, while their opponents, Notts County, scored none. The first came after just two minutes from Bobby Lewsam, or Lewsham, who is one of those players who turn up from places like Spalding United for trials which seem to go on for months and months on end, while young Michael Smith achieved the tremendous feat of scoring the second despite not having been named in Town's squad for the game.
Hopes are high that the Mariners' youth system might soon end its recent barren spell and throw up another Gary Croft or John Oster, and the youth team's progress in this season's cup competitions is sure to make them higher and higher, baby. It's a living thing; it's a terrible thing to lose. It has come to the attention of the world, thanks to an item on Town's official website, that the young 'uns have reached the semi-finals of the Midlands Youth Cup by anticipating the feat of their slightly elders in the reserves and beating Notts County 2-0 on Tuesday night. The semi is against Port Vale and they don't know when yet. It won't be on 12 March, I'll tell you that much, because that's when they're playing Oldham in another knockout tourney, the Football League Youth Alliance Cup, after beating Chesterfield 4-0 in the previous round last Saturday. And they say the youth of today don't know what hard work is. They're always saying stupid things like that, though, aren't they.
The Diary's inbox has been so busy this week that if I'm not careful it'll fall off. Today brings yet more email correspondence from you readery types, the first item of which was sent by Peter Hopgood. "Just my luck Russell looks like he won't be signing Mr Impey," he writes. "My one chance of a claim to fame is just jumping out of the nearest window. 'What's that?' you may ask." What's that, Peter? "Well, my son is only stepping out with Master Impey's stepsister. Haa, how cool is that?" Reasonably cool, sir, I must admit, though Charlotte Hatherley would have been cooler. "Mind you, knowing how fickle young love is by the time you read these words he will probably have moved on through a further four or five relationships. Rather like Mr Slade and his trialists." Ah, but before he sends them packing, Peter, does your lad actually give his paramours a 'run-out'?
"So imagine my surprise when someone phoned me and asked for a kos lettuce!" It's not every week the Diary is told that, but then it's not every week I publish the phone number of the marketing manager at Fresh Cut Salads, so we shouldn't be too surprised. Alan Richardson, the accidental hero of yesterday's Diary, has sent us another email - intentionally this time - to explain that "my lack of IT skills meant I sent a blank email while looking at Monday's Diary - that'll teach me to slack at work! Enough explanation and time for a bit of grovelling - CA is without doubt the finest read on the old internet thingy and keeps us exiles well informed (not that living in Gy helps much with the lack of info and shocking journalism in the GET!)." Thanks very much, Alan, very kind of you; though remember that if nobody ever slacked at work then there wouldn't be a CA to keep you thus updated
Finally, shocking GET journalist Pete Green has been in touch after Richard Dawson accused him in yesterday's Diary of having promised Cod Almighty some book reviews, and suggested that if he couldn't be arsed to write them then perhaps he could just lend Richard the books. "Well, I wrote one," explains Pete, "a review, not a book. I haven't got anything else to review though, and I can't lend what I've not got. I reckon Si Wilson is your man. He is, after all, the man." Si ?
That is all from me for another week, then; tomorrow will find you, as is normal for a Friday, in the kind and gentle hands of Guest Diary. Thank you all for reading, and, I dunno, stay beautiful. Cheers.