Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 27 April 2005

27 April 2005

Either the pressure is getting to Positive John or the BBC Humber web monkeys are moonlighting for Town's official site again. That's the Diary's first thought, at any rate, upon reading a question and answer thing on the OS in which the Mariners chairman looks back on the first day of the season and recalls: "We got off to start to good start Darlington 23 shots on goal". Other areas covered by the Q&A session include the crucial issue of which player PJ would most like to see brought to Blundell Park ("Wayne Rooney on a 15 season free loan!") and next season's transfer budget - specifically, whether there is one and if so how big. Disappointingly but understandably, the fast-moving GTFC supremo is reluctant to give details on the latter, explaining twice that "this information may get in to the wrong hands". Indeed, the consequences are unthinkable should the news of Town's £600 per week wage cap reach the higher echelons of Al-Qaida.

When he wasn't being a leading film producer there was nothing George Harrison enjoyed more than releasing albums with mystical quasi-religious titles like All Things Must Pass and Please Give Me That Spliff Back Again So That I Can See God. I might have made that second one up, but pass is what all things must certainly do, and if you don't believe me or George then just look at the playing squad of Grimsby Town Football Club. Two men who graced it in recent years, Paul Groves and Kevin Donovan, have recently been playing for York City instead, as their powers have passed too far for the exacting standards of the Football League; and now they pass again, as the struggling Minstermen have informed the world that their services will not be required next season. All of which would affect the Diary deeply were I not already engaged in some highly spiritual, end-of-season transcendental exercises in not giving the left testicle of a white-cheeked gibbon about absolutely anything.

At about half past three yesterday afternoon there appeared on Town's official website an item about Southampton striker Brett Ormerod returning to St Mary's after a spell on loan at Wigan, with absolutely no relevance to the Mariners whatsoever. "Hullo," thought the Diary, "there's a grand opportunity for some mirth-making tomorrow!" It's gone now though, the OS people or the Premium TV people presumably having realised their error and removed it. What a pity that nobody does the same when the Grimsby Telegraph accidentally runs those stories about Chelsea and Aston Villa.