Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 20 April 2005

20 April 2005

His Holiness Pope Macca XXVII has been told by Cardinal Rabid Russ that his divine defensive skills will be required again at Blundell Park next season, though it is unclear whether the blessing of player-coach status will be extended. Town's 98-year-old right-back is, like most of his playing colleagues, out of contract in about five minutes' time and has been doing the coachy thing as well for a lot of this season, but an interview His Holiness has graciously bestowed upon Radio Humberside reveals that the Mariners' perennially overstretched budget may not allow for the luxury of a player-coach. "Russell Slade, the manager, has told me he wants me here next season," explains God's representative of full-backs on Earth, helpfully clarifying the role of his immediate supervisor. "But it's down to the board and finances if they can accommodate me as a player-coach or just as a player." Can't you just coach for love, John?

Joe Lightowler was a big disappointment in Football Manager 2005 and the Diary ended up flogging him to Cheltenham for a pint of John Smith's and a bag of chilli nuts. Back in the world outside my CPU, though, the lad remains Town's great hope for salvation and future world peace, and hey man groovy, he's shaken off whatever injury shackles were holding him down since the Age of Aquarius to return to the reserve side that travels to Lincoln this afternoon for what is unsurprisingly a reserve game against Lincoln. And the hopes of a generation travel with him. Uh-oh.

There was an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Frenchman and a manager. The Englishman and the Scotsman hurt themselves playing football, and the Frenchman and the Irishman took their places in the team. The team lost and the manager went mental at the Frenchman. Ha ha ha ha ha! Er, anyway, the Englishman and the Scotsman, or, as close friends call them, Stacy Coldicott and Martin Gritton, are still hurting and might not be able to play Scunthorpe this weekend, apparently. "Thomas Pinault also took a knock at the weekend but he did train on Tuesday morning," adds Town's official site, and with Brian Laws on the horizon and Rabid Russ telling the Grimsby Telegraph that "Thomas has taken it on the chin", the Diary can only wonder as to the source of the Frenchman's "knock".