Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 19 April 2005
19 April 2005
Well, readers, it's time to choose the least manky banana in the fruit bowl, or in other words the best of a bad bunch. No, it's not general election day already: the polls are open on the Mariners' player of the year award for the 2004-05 season, and Town's official website is here to show you how. Organisers of the vote have clearly got something of a handle on the way Grimbarians' minds work and refused to give an option to vote for Phil Jevons again, and although the smart money will be on Graham Hockless this time, the Diary urges all right-thinking Town fans to join me in registering our discontent with a vote for the only player whose performances have been faultless all season: the one, the only... Mr Glen Downey. A vote for common sense.
Swoosh! Thunk! Isn't that Gordon Strachan's ginger head rolling across the floor? Swoosh! Thunk! And I could swear that's the bloody disembodied bonce of George Burley trundling up alongside it. Ah, but down here in the lower divisions the days of the Grimsby Reaper seem a long time gone, when failure to beat the Mariners meant a summary dismissal and public execution for the other team's manager. But just one moment, for Notts County's caretaker boss Ian Richardson has been informed by the Meadow Lane suits that his services will not be required next season after his side could only manage a 2-2 draw at home to the Mariners last weekend by virtue of the visitors' less than adequate goalkeeper! The Reaper's scythe being swung again, then, we can only hope that by the time we finally beat Boston the expectations of our country cousins will have been unreasonably inflated and that Steve Evans is still in charge.
In such dire times as these a bit of historical perspective is never a bad thing, and as Town fans wonder whether Rabid Russ could be attached to the National Grid after a match in order to power the entire Look North region from his temper, we might do well to remember another manager of the club whose emotions once got the better of him after a match. Again, another flair midfielder copped the wrong end of it, and a mention of poultry-based comestibles will surely be all that you now need to recognise that it's that nice Mr Laws we're on about. The Times has this week included the Brian/Ivano dust-up in its top 10 sporting missiles, and subscribes to the interesting alternative theory that a chicken leg, and not a chicken sandwich, was the item that caused Bri such offence.
Speaking of Scunny, which we almost were, the Grimsby Telegraph says that Town say that we could be looking at a sell-out this weekend. As in a capacity crowd, I mean, not Ben Elton.
Finally today, and let's get this over with quickly because I'm hungry now, a word from Dave Otter of Grimsby Town Supporters Trust, who has emailed in to clarify the unholy mess made by the Diary yesterday in attempting to explain the trust's money-raising phone deal hook-up wheeze arrangement. "Thanks for the free plug in Monday's Diary!" That's all right, Dave; any time. See, everyone - I'm not all bad. "I would just like to point out that, even though you may have paid 60-odd quid to sign up with BT, that would make no difference if you signed up to the scheme. Your rental would continue to be paid to BT, the only difference is that you call charges would be paid to the Phone Co-op. As you say, 6 per cent of your call charge would be paid to the Trust, more importantly, your bills would be significantly cheaper." Ah, yeahÂ… but I went with Telewest in the end. Still, it's a cracking set-up, and if just one Diary reader signs up as a result of reading this then I will sleep soundly in my bed for the whole close season.
Right. Lunch. See you tomorrow.