Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 11 April 2005

11 April 2005

It was only last Thursday the Diary was lamenting the lack of news concerning the latest adventures of Grimsby Town Football Club. So, it is with a delicious lashing of irony that the Diary has decided to take a week off and today your diarist in Leeds is struggling to wade through the thick and sludgy bog of Town News such has been the number of happenings and reportings over the past couple of days.

Where is one to start? Let's get reaction to Saturday's, ahem, contest out of the way first. "Dissapointment" (sic) reports the Bucks Free Press, "when the breaks were applied to [Wycombe's] play-off hopes." The only thing that could have been broken on Saturday was the peaceful slumber of the 3452 attendees. A point stubbornly ground out by Town reckons the Russmeister, although we don't know what renting has to do with it ("keeping a clean sheet at lease gives his side something to build on" to quote the OS). "I felt defensively we did very well... Not conceding a goal certainly gives us something to build on after recent results... In the last seven games we have only scored two goals - it doesn't take too many brains to work out where our problem is." Are those brains in jars or heads? And are they human or not?

Talking of brains, Rob Jones reckons he knows how to build on that clean sheet: "Before the end of the season I would like to see us score three or four goals in a game." Genius. But what is he getting at with "there is a good fan base here and a great ground to play at"? Is he easily pleased, being sarcastic, or have I missed something?

Positive John takes some time out from his "glass half full" persona to show his nasty side if an announcement on the OS is anything to go by. Explaining why he and Sladey are attending a shin-dig for Lucas Radebe, Deep Pockets explains: "Accepting the invitation was part of a reciprocal arrangement. Dave Mitchell, on behalf of the Leeds supporters, has agreed to hold a celebrity evening on behalf of the Keep the Mariners Afloat campaign." If you'd said that to start with Johnny, I'm sure all Town fans (or the ones who were really bothered by your attendance of this do) would have said "good on yer, mate" from the off. "You never know, we might be able to convert one or two?" John - if you can do that, you've done better than I have in six years of living in Leeds.

There's also yet more about the radio ban, but don't take that as the cue to snooze off. In a terse piece of prose, Furious Fenty goes for the jugular. "The club's fragile existence cannot tolerate mismanagement of facts or game towards the campaign or the football club. It may surprise some that we are fighting for the survival of your football club… We are all disappointed that the promising start to the season petered out. It doesn't alter the need for all to work together and support all aspects of the football club." Taste that man's fury!

Also Chairman John "would like to point out that it just isn't true that I said that I would not be attending the forthcoming Frank Worthington evening. I was asked by Dave Otter, last Thursday, and I said that my life is 'organised chaos' and I seem to be out every night. However, I have since checked my diary and will be attending." Excellent work, Mr F! If you can find the time in your hectic schedule to attend, then surely a few more Town fans out there can make the effort. What are you all looking at me for?

The trust - that reminds me there's a thorough update from Rachel Branson elsewhere on/in this fanzine. Maybe I should make some executive decision and decide that we'll get into the knack of putting those things up here when we receive them. And maybe I'll finally get round to writing up an interview with Dave Otter that I did, er, a few months ago. Which means it's wildly out of date. Sorry, Dave. Go on, tut disapprovingly at my slackness.

Andy Holt -hello Andy! - has spotted this beauty about scrawny non-striking non-legend Jonny Rowan. If you can't bothered clicking on the link, well, Jonny is now on loan at Gainsborough Trinity from Kettering Town. But the reasoning behind the move? JR still lives in Grimsby, and was getting lifts to Kettering with another ex-Town bright young thing, Steve Croudson. The Kitten has moved to Halifax, meaning that Jonny has had to look for a more local window in which to display his talents, presumably one reached easily by public transport from Grimmo. Andy also sent on a link to a match report on Rowan's debut for his new club.

One man who shares the chairman's positive outlook on life is Mark Wilson. "Whilst broadly agreeing with Friday Diary's lambasting of all and sundry on a number of issues I wanted to remind your good readers how life was just a year ago." Can't remember? Mark's done the handiwork for you. "A quick scan of the diary for this date last year reminded me of Nicky Law as manager, the lanky French dickhead we had up front, an away hammering at QPR (in which we were a bit unlucky) and the fact that we were just four days away from relegation - though we didn't know that at the time. 51 points in the bag, players given up because there's nothing to play for? I'll accept that if they can just give us three more points in a week's time!" What's the big deal about beating Notts County, Mark?

Further delving into the postbag reveals this nugget from John Pakey. "I'm sure your comic genius could make up something amusing about Aidan Davison and his bananas," John foolishly believes. Aidan Davison receiving a big box of bananas so he can bake the whole team banana bread? What would Jamie Oliver say? No, that's not a joke. I haven't a clue about the nutritional value of banana bread, so what would he say? And how does this, dear readers, compare to the recipes from the players that have adorned this season's matchday programmes?

Chris Parrott meanwhile has had it with Grimsbarians attending - or not as the case might be - Blundell Park these days. "I hate stating the bleedin' obvious, but GTFC would have been a more obvious candidate for franchsing than Wimbledon. At least a move to Milton Keynes would have given more people who give a stuff a chance to go to 'home' games." What was it Positive John was saying about your football club earlier in this diary?...