Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 31 May 2005

31 May 2005

It's gone two of the clock, post-meridian as I type this first sentence; yes, I know the diary is usually up there already by this time, but we've just had news that Diary diary is incapable, so here I am, Last Minute Diary, to fill in. "Works well under pressure", it says on my CV. Let's put that to the test, shall we.

This time of year is usually devoid of any news concerning Grimsby Town football club: the season's over; some players' contracts still haven't gone 'BING!' and expired; and it's far too early to be sorting out their replacements, surely. But no - while on holiday last week, Mr Ceefax informed me that we've already signed Jermaine Jenas. Palmer, sorry. Jenas Palmer. That Gary Cohen bloke as well. And now it seems Mr Slade is talking to "an unnamed midfield player". Must... resist... obvious jokes about... anonymity...

So who's this mystery midfielder, then? Well, subscribe to the SMS service to find out first. Oh, sorry, wrong website. Pure speculation, but he apparently played in the old, old third division last season, Brentford have just released a few midfielders, Jamie Lawrence is one of them, and he used to play for Town. Or it could be David Beresford, ex of Tranmere. Or any of the other buggers listed here I suppose. This - like your letter to Jim'll Fix It - is only the start of it, for there are no less than a couple of middle men Russ is after. "I am hoping we can get at least one tied up in the next few days" says Russ, the kinky devil.

What is interesting is that The Sladester has said, with reference to signing new players, "There's four or five areas that I'm looking to address". Four or five? So that'll be: keeper; defence; midfield; strikers... that's four... and er, The Hole? He really is determined to start next season with at least eleven players, isn't he.

Whatever the make-up of the team next season, the odds are currently, and I quote, "an incredible 20/1" to be clutching division winners' trophy and medals this time next year. Now, 'incredible' is a word I might have used this time last year, but for me, Brian, at the end of the day, Town's position in this table seems pretty fair to me.

Right, it's now 14:50 hours - that's ten to three - and until I finish this, you can't read it, so I'd better stop. Bye!