Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 21 June 2005

21 June 2005

Welcome to the Diary School of Journalism. Today: headlines. The first and most important thing to remember when writing a headline is that it must accurately reflect the content of the story. This may sound obvious, but sometimes, it would seem, it needs to be pointed out. Today, for instance, the official website of Grimsby Town FC is running a story headlined Aiston Set For Town U-Turn? This suggests, does it not, that the story will raise the possibility of Aiston (Sam Aiston, a lower-league professional footballer) taking a u-turn that relates to Town (reversing his earlier decision to reject a transfer to Grimsby Town FC). The central message of the story, however, is precisely the opposite - that Aiston is in fact not set for a Town u-turn - since it quotes the manager of Grimsby Town FC, Russell Slade, to that effect: "We definitely wont [sic.] be renewing our interest in the player." Any questions? No? Good. Tomorrow: use of the apostrophe.

Well, after trials with Southend and Wycombe we all got the impression that Ronnie Bull would be leaving the Mariners for a southern club, but few could have expected that he'd go for one quite so southern as this. Town's latest substandard left-back has, it seems, thrown in his lot with New Zealand Knights in time for the beginning of the A-League, which kicks off its first season at the end of August. Remembering the antipodean intentions of another recent Town player, and as a great fan of classic comedy, the Diary is prepared to pay big money for any video footage of Ronnie up against Graham Hockless next season.

Affluent supporters who have shelled out 300-odd quiddies on a season ticket but still have currency scorching an aperture in their trouser storage facility have been given a new opportunity to contribute towards replacements for Messrs Bull and Hockless. In a cunning new twist on the 'auction a place in the squad' ruse borrowed by the Mariners the other year, the club is now offering for sale to the highest bidders not one place in next season's playing squad but three places in next season's team photo. With this likely to raise more cash than before, the club's programme editor saved the hassle of remembering to put the winners' names in the squad list, and Cod Almighty excused the nightmare of trying to publish player profiles for non-players, it's a win-win-win situation!