Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 22 June 2005
22 June 2005
Next season's goalkeeping duties at Blundell Park appear to be finalised with the signing today on an extravagant two-year contract of the former Swindon and Notts County gloveman Steve Mildenhall. Though seemingly prone to just the occasional Williams-esque slip, six-foot-five Steve seems to be generally well thought of by fans of his previous clubs, and was unlucky enough to bust his hand while playing for Oldham last year and then get kept out of the side by an Australian called Les Pogliacomi. Highlights of the player's career so far include scoring what turned out to be the winning goal in County's 4-3 derby triumph at Mansfield in August 2001, with a goal kick taken just inside his own area, and an outstanding performance on his full league debut: a 1-0 win for Swindon at Portsmouth in 1997 which left Mildenhall requiring stitches in his testicles following a collision with another player. All of which is great news for the Mariners, because if there's one thing apart from ITV Digital that Town fans can justifiably blame for their club's appalling recent slide down the divisions, it's the acquisition of players who couldn't give a bollock for the team.
The Diary enjoyed yesterday. Quite aside from the weather being a bit cooler, it's a rare pleasure for me to be the first GTFC-dedicated news source to break a story - in this case that Ronnie Bull had signed for New Zealand Knights - not to mention watching Town's official website trail in my glorious wake by repeating it later. Today the OS has obligingly probed the possibility that Graham 'The Hair' Hockless would be following Bull to the A-League next season, and the answer is: probably not. "I'm just weighing up my options at the minute," the handsome young winger told the site, hoping to give the impression that his failed loan spell at Leigh RMI last season has not dissuaded a host of wealthy, top-flight English, Italian, Australian and Qatari clubs from deluging him with lucrative contract offers. Rumour reaches the Diary, meanwhile, that Graham's move abroad has actually been held up by an incomplete visa application form. When he couldn't find a box that said 'just weighing up my options', the player allegedly left the 'marital status' section blank rather than tick the box marked 'single'.
When he's not trying to become a fireman there's nothing Stacy Coldicott enjoys more than the odd bit of professional football. After turning down the presumably piss-poor terms on offer to prolong his spell with the Mariners, the club's second longest serving player is rumoured to be considering a move back to his native midlands with Hereford United of the Conference. We know this because it says so on Town's official website. We don't know how they know, though. Or at least the Diary doesn't. I do know that Hereford coach John Trewick was at West Brom at the same time as Stace. But so were lots of other people, probably.
Faced with a selection of applicants for their vacant manager's position that included two of the least popular men at Blundell Park this century, second division Millwall have rejected the one who is unpopular for a good reason, Lennie Lawrence, and appointed the one for whom Grimsby fans seem to have constructed an antipathy from thin air: Steve Claridge. I guess we won't be seeing him for a while to pursue it, though.
Keith Wivell has emailed the Diary to further the burning issue of rock star Reg Dwight's appearances at Blundell Park in his capacity as chairman of Watford Football Club. "Has Elton sat in the Town boardroom twice?" asks Keith Wivell in an email to the Diary. "I only ask because in about 1985 I met him there! I am fairly certain it was a cup game between Town and Watford on a Saturday afternoon and the company my dad worked for sponsored the game so we had VIP tickets. Elton signed my programme. I recall Town were winning 1-0 at half time and went on to win - oh, no, sorry - lose 3-1. The Watford destroyer was one Jimmy Gilligan, who so clearly impressed the management that we bought him, didn't we?" We did - and thanks for sharing, sir; any other Diary readers who have had Sir Elt's pleasure are urged to email without delay. "Meeting Elton did not make up for the defeat," adds Keith, unnecessarily.
A further email this way comes from Cod Almighty's gifted resident poet Al Wilkinson. "I'm a bit bored, I have that rarest of things - a little spare time - so I'll stand for the defence of the OS," explains Al. "Perhaps in their headline Aiston Set For Town U-Turn they actually meant the player himself and his own renewed attitude toward the, now beloved, Mariners is the U-turn; a reversal of mind, or a U-bend in the brain, if you will." Point taken, Mr W. Although only a poet could be so alive to the fluidity of language, in all fairness I really ought to have better things to do with my life than make fun of Grimsby Town FC's official website for writing misleading headlines.
But if I don't find any in the next 24 hours, I'll see you all again tomorrow lunchtime.