Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 29 July 2005

29 July 2005

Hello. Bottom Of The Barrel Diary here again from the plague village of Tetney, trying to maintain the standards of wit and spohistication for which this diary is famous. And failing.

There was once a famous exchange on a Radio 1 call-in show that proceeded as follows:

Tony Blackburn: Hi caller, what's your name?
Caller: David Morris
Tony Blackburn: I went to school with a David Morris. Are you his brother?

I mention this because my first reaction on hearing that Town were trying to sign Northern Ireland international James Quinn was "Hmm, I wonder if he's Jimmy Quinn's brother?" Which, if nothing else, shows that I've got the intellectual capacity to be a Radio 1 DJ.

Anyway, the whole thing's immaterial since he doesn't want to live in chavvy-crimey-druggy-fishy Grimsby. According to John Fenty, however, he won't be signing because we haven't got a "shiny new ground" with which to impress him, making Positive John sound for all the world like one of those Australian Bowerbirds that decorates his nest with shiny milk bottle tops in a desperate attempt to find a mate.

There is no news to report. Doubtless as soon as I finish this diary tornadoes will hit Blundell Park, Russell Slade will be revealed as the Covenham Wallaby and we will have signed a creative midfielder. Yet for now, all is peace. All is calm. And there have been two days of rain, meaning that all the "preparations" I made for this year's harvest have not been in vain. All hail Geb.