Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Monday 1 August 2005
1 August 2005
Tranmere's Gary Jones has become the fifth and presumably final striker in Mr Russell Slade's squad for the 2005-06 season, or the sixth if you count Andy Parkinson. A 30-year-old 30-year-old, Jones has spent his entire career with the Wirral side save for a two-year stint at Nottingham Forest from 2000 to 2002. His record of 47 league goals in nearly 300 appearances looks a bit rubbish, but the player has been shunted hither and thither around the team and many of said appearances were not in a forwardmost position. Jones, who has signed a two-year contract with GTFC, can therefore expect to be filling in for the injury-prone likes of Justin Whittle, Simon Ramsden, Tony Crane and Rob Jones at the back and has probably become Town's second-choice goalkeeper ahead of John Lukic.
Your new man's versatility is especially to be welcomed given the news that Rabid Russ will bring in only one more player before the season begins this Saturday. Perhaps prompted by the news of an injury to Tom Newey, the only left-footed player in his squad, the Mariners boss has told his club's official website: "We just need one more. Hopefully we can get a wing-back type player in." Good news for Town's vulnerable wide positions, then, but not so happy for trialists Cameron Pino (attacking midfield/forward), Alan Navarro (midfield), Samuel Ipoua (forward), Levi Reid (midfield) and Karl Colley (central defence), all of whom have presumably been wasting their time.
That wing-back type player could turn out to be Stuart Edwards, a youthful former Leeds wing-back type player who failed a trial with Swansea earlier this summer but impressed in Town's win at Lincoln yesterday. Andy Parkinson notched the only goal from long range after 21 minutes, while Edwards later came on as a substitute at right wing-back and looked pretty good, especially going forward. Jean-Paul Kamudimba Kalala Kamudimba Jean-Paul Kalala and Paul Bolland controlled the midfield in a much-improved showing from the Mariners, while Nick Heggggggarteeeey also performed well all round after coming on from the bench. Lincoln were mostly rubbish though - but Scott Kerr, once the subject of a GTFC tapping-up scandal, recently joined the Imps from Scarborough and was probably their man of the match on Sunday.
Second division Derby County, in case you've forgotten, will be hosting the Mariners later this month in the first round of the League Cup, and have learnt a lesson from Geeky Cousin Diary, who suddenly became the most popular kid in the school when it was announced that attendees at his 16th birthday party would receive copious quantities of free cider purloined from the back room of his dad's off-licence. Fearing that nobody would turn up to their Grimsby soirée on 24 August without some serious bribery, the Rams have reduced the price of admission to an intoxicating £12 (it doesn't say anything about away fans, but I think they'll have to let us in for that as well anyone?). All we need now are 2,000 litres of Bulmer's special and plenty of buckets to be sick in.
Former Town hero and jellyfish Kevin Donovan will be lining up against Paul Groves' Stafford Rangers in the Conference North next season after signing for Alfreton Town, widely recognised not so much for Premiership ambitions as for being a lower-than-York elephants' graveyard for ex-Mariners. Or was that Ilkeston? Anyway, yeah. If you really, really care then Clint 'No Starts' Marcelle is at Gainsborough Trinity and Wayne 'No Contract' Graves has gone to Kidderminster, but we are straying deeply here into should-get-out-more territory.