Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 26 July 2005
26 July 2005
A week and a bit before the Mariners' glorious 2005-06 promotion season begins, the club is already enduring its first midfield injury crisis, with Ciaran Toner and tough-tackling Paul Bolland looking iffy for tonight's apparently glamorous friendly at home to second division Leeds. Heel and ankle respectively, as if it makes a big difference to your psychological well-being and prosperity. John McDermott has still got a hamstring and Justin Whittle's head still hurts from Rotherham. I went there once and I know how he feels. The dark midfield emptiness Town are experiencing ought to guarantee starting places to tough-tackling Scunthorpe discardee Terry Barwick and tough-tackling Congo existentialist Jean-Paul Camus-Dimba.
Another midfielder who may fill the void of Grimsby's heart is 24-year-old Alan Navarro, though not until tomorrow night's attractively priced £10 reserves training session at Doncaster. The player began his career with Liverpool, you know, and dwindled along to a succession of lower-division Cheshire and Lancashire clubs culminating in his release this summer by Tranmere. With tough-tackling Barwick, tough-tackling Bolland and tough-tackling JPK already signed up, you might think there'd be room in the squad for a man who can play in a passing, attacking midfield role - Lee Fowler, say, or perhaps even Cameron Pino - but sure enough, Navarro is a central player described by Town's official website as ...[pause for suspense]... "tough-tackling".
Tough-tackling assistant manager Graham Rodger has been given a new car! Flipping heck! Let's see what kind it is, and I'll go out and buy one, because it must be good! Maybe tough-tackling assistant commercial manager Dave Smith can help. "To have such a top marque as Audi supporting the Mariners is great news for Grimsby Town Football Club," says Dave. I don't know what a marque is, but I'm sure that quote wasn't written for him by Grimsby Audi's marketing people or anything. Hooray for tough-tackling Audi!
"Dear Diary," begins an email to the Diary, unsurprisingly, from the boss of Cod Almighty, "I would just like to point out that your wage isn't just one bottle of Badger. You forget the bonuses, which was - if that bottle of beer didn't wipe from your memory - a packet of worcester sauce Seabrooks this year. Live it up." You told me they were roasted garlic flavour! Gah!
And finally, Andy Holt, the tough-tackling supremo of Cod Almighty's apparel division, has emailed the Diary: "Please reassure John Pakey that the Macca T-shirt he ordered less than two weeks ago will be with him, all being well, before the end of the week." OK, Andy. John, the Macca T-shirt you ordered less than two weeks ago will be with you, all being well, before the end of the week. I'm not saying which week though. "Of course, all profits from the T-shirts go towards hosting this lovely website and buying shares through the KTMA scheme, and to answer his other question, if he's bothered, the sales of the Macca shirt are going well, but interestingly more Super Clive and Ivano T-shirts had been sold by this stage following their respective releases. Interesting. We were sure the Macca shirt would prove the most popular yet. What's wrong with you all, eh?" Well, CA has clearly missed the spirit of the times with this one, Andy. Sales will never improve until you offer today's forward-thinking Town fans a tough-tackling Terry Barwick T-shirt.