Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 5 July 2005

5 July 2005

As the Diary lay awake in bed at 4:30 this morning I was faced with a dilemma: get up, go downstairs and see if the telly was showing any Argentinian football or European vampire films, or stay put, reach for the mp3 player and let some Lali Puna guide me back to dreamland. At no point did I consider pegging it out to the garden for a drill parade before a brisk two-mile swim. The Diary's admiration goes out to Town's new goalkeeper Steve Mildenhall, then, who has cunningly sustained an ankle injury to avoid being forced to perform precisely the latter kind of bizarre ritual as part of the club's frankly insane army boot camp thing in Cambridgeshire. As if it won't be worrying enough for fans to see the injuries piling up even before the Mariners face Breakbone Rovers in their final pre-season friendly, the club's insistence on this extremist fitness programme can hardly be helping Russ in his attempts to build a half-decent squad. "Well, Mr Joachim, with your previous clubs you may have had to endure pre-season training in a variety of sunny Mediterranean tourist destinations, but here at Grimsby we can offer you a military maniac screaming in your ear an hour before dawn followed by an intense session of... Mr Joachim? Yes, it is that way to the A16... Mr Joachim! Come back!"

In news that was actually announced at the weekend but I couldn't be arsed to report yesterday, GTFC are having some new "continental-style" goals installed which, confusingly, "are used at most Premiership grounds nowadays". I suppose the Premiership is part of a continent, though. It's all about the net being held by posts instead of pegs, apparently, which is just as well to know, because when the Diary was told that Town were going to have some new goals, my first thought was: "What - like being any good?"

"Scouring through the PFA Transfer Directory," writes John Pakey in an email to the Diary, "I notice Darren Wrack has been released by Walsall. Obviously the Saddlers must be trying to tighten their belts after a poor season but it seems a shame for them to get rid of the lad. He really impressed me when I saw him play against Colchester United last term. He was really dominant in midfield. God I'm shattered, I've been at this desk since 6am. What is the Diary's thoughts on the ability of the lad from Cleethorpes?" Well, I could be wrong, but the Diary's thoughts are that Wrack not only signed a new three-year contract with Walsall the other week but flicked the Vs at the Town support at Bescot the other year, so his ability is neither here nor there. Take a leaf out of Steve Mildenhall's book, John, and catch up on some shut-eye.