Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 30 August 2005

30 August 2005

Macca. Goal. GOAL! Dodgy ref on our side. Passing. Movement. Sunshine. Sixth place with a game in hand. Lovely.

Unlike the revolution, Town's second-round League Cup tie at home to Tottenham will be televised. The game will be played on Tuesday 20 September and is set to be broadcast in Murdochvision, though they haven't decided on which channel yet. By the Diary's reckoning, the last Mariners game to go out live on the box might have been the 4-1 home defeat by Blackburn in April 2001, in which Danny Coyne did his chances of a Wales call-up no good at all with an appalling fluff for Rovers' opener from a half-arsed David Dunn shot while his national manager Mark Hughes looked on as a Blackburn player. It is to be hoped, then, that BP turnstile operators will be under instruction to maximise Rob Jones' chances of a late run to the England squad for next year's World Cup by turning away Sven-Goran Eriksson at the gate.

In a populist but probably futile gesture, GTFC are attempting to have Carl Boyeson banned from refereeing any more of their games. The Hull-based referee recently won 20 quid off his Tigers-supporting mates, who bet him before Town's recent home defeat by Darlington that he wouldn't dare to send off two Grimsby players for the second time in succession, and Russell Slade has told Radio Humberside that it simply will not do. "It's something that I am speaking with the club's chief executive about," said the Mariners boss, "to see whether we can do anything about it, rather than brush it under the carpet." Not that there's much room under Town's carpet after the premature end to the Jarvis sponsorship.

Speaking of shit refs, John Pakey has emailed the Diary about the fool who oversaw Saturday's win at Barnet without seeming to be aware of the FIFA regulation and United Nations resolution that expressly forbid match officials from taking sanctions against players who have made more than 600 appearances for Grimsby Town Football Club over nearly 20 years. "After seeing that someone dare book Sir John of McDermott," he writes, "I decided to investigate further and have a look at Mr S Dorr's record in recent seasons, and it's bloody terrible!" John has found a Soccerbase link giving details of all the red and yellow cards issued by said referee, and he's right: it is bloody terrible. Not to worry, though, John: when the revolution happens and Macca is made president of the whole world, Mr Duh will clearly be first against the wall.