Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 23 August 2005

23 August 2005

Three weeks after Radio Humberside revealed the impending retirement of GTFC legend John McDermott (and the Diary nicked the story to become the first one to publish it on the internet), the club's official website is still yet to utter even a byte on the subject. A similar silence emanates from the walls of Blundell Park this week on the absence of Jean-Paul Kamudimba/Kalala from the squad that walked out to face Darlington last weekend. As late as Thursday the OS was insisting unequivocally that the Congolese midfielder would be available for the visit of the Quakers, but when an unchanged line-up was named on Saturday the player's name was absent even from the list of substitutes. The subsequent dearth of any official explanation has set fans' imaginations ablaze, with the JPK conspiracy theories lining up behind a grassy knoll ranging from a Sestanovich substitute strop to abduction by alien visitors from the Beta Hydri system. Personally, the Diary still isn't convinced that he ever existed in the first place, and wouldn't be at all surprised if JPK turns out to have been invented by Tony Richardson as some kind of ingenious tax avoidance scheme.

Those of you who, like the Diary, have been wondering whether the suspensions of Messrs Crane and Newey would be in force for this week's game at Derby need wonder no longer. But who knows where we'd be without the Derby Telegraph, which has obligingly explained this morning that yes, Town's pair of daft ha'p'orths will indeed be forced to sit out League Cup proceedings tomorrow night. This ought to mean Gary Croft replacing Newey in the left wing-back position and Justin Whittle coming in for Crane in defence, which, funnily enough, is exactly how it should have been in the first place. He's great, that Carl Boyeson. I love him.

People's Park is not just the only Grimsby landmark the Diary knows to have been mentioned by name on The Archers ("Sounds like something from communist China!"); it is also the venue for this Sunday's Pride in the Park bash. Organised by the Grimsby Town Supporters Trust, the event sounds like it'll be a lot of fun for the little 'uns, with a lucky dip, treasure hunt and 'guess the number of chocolate footballs in the jar' competition (I used to love stuff like that), together with quizzes, a giant name card and a prize draw for trust members featuring sexy items of Mariners memorabilia. Trust members will have the chance to buy trust stuff at big discounts, and a large cheque signed "J Fenty" awaits the winner of the 'find the missing Congolese midfielder' competition.