Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 5 August 2005

5 August 2005

Town fans everywhere will have climbed the wooden hill to Bedfordshire grinning last night as the news broke that Gary Croft will be returning to Blundell Park on a two year contract. Apparently Town have inserted some kind of injury get-out clause to silence the cynics who question Gary's ability to stay fit, but your Guest Diarist cares not a fig for such contractual minutiae just now. Today is a day, as ace Cod Almighty match reporter Tony Butcher puts it, "to enter full back heaven". A day to welcome the return of another 'Town player', as opposed to an anodyne journeyman signing for his fifth club in six seasons or summat. The prodigal returns, and we welcome him with open arms and a famerlee hug. He's coming home. He's coming home, Crofty's coming home.

Scarborough beat a Sheffield United side 3-2 the other night. Russell Slade went along to watch and was so impressed by the second half performance of 'our' young Mr Palmer that he has promptly signed a similar striker, Calvin Andrew, on a months loan from Luton. Jermaine came on at half time, scored the winner and made Boro boss Nick Henry a very happy man saying things like "he has got bags of pace and is powerful while his touch also seems good." Jigsaws and the final pieces thereof were also mentioned. One can only assume that Mr Slade knows what he is doing signing yet another front man. Rumours that it is a preventative measure to avoid any chance of Mr Crane 'having a go' up front, even in training, are, as yet, unfounded.

The Croft-tastic news overnight has meant the diary is being penned an hour or two early this morning so speculation on tomorrow's lineup will be limited to a perfunctory "dunno mate, we'll have to see". In fact why don't you all get down to BP tomorrow and find out for yourselves? And "watching the Ashes" is not an acceptable excuse. Speaking of which, some of you may remember me rambling on the other week about cricket players injuries being almost always caused by them playing other sports whilst warming up prior to a match. The point being you don't catch Macca and Crofty playing tip'n'run very often do you? Well, my theorem was well and truly proven yesterday when that demon Aussie bowler did his ankle while pratting about with a rugby ball an hour before the test match started. Plans to entice Mr Warne to try a round of croquet are already being laid.

So we have survived the midsummer doldrums and there's a fresh easterly blowing off the Humber. Mr Fenty is to be congratulated with the summer signings which seem to have given Town half a chance. Let's just hope Mr Slade plays the right names in the right positions. So what of the opposition? Well your Guest Diarist's favouritely named goalie, Mr Billy Turley is now an Oxford player, but faces competition from last season's player of the year Chris Tardif. A pie eating competition to decide who plays will take place on the team bus tomorrow. Newly appointed skipper, and no stranger to the Town bench, Chris Hargreaves will also play. Others to worry about include ex Celtic and Reading winger Stuart Gray and 'whoever they play up front'. At least that will no longer be Mr Mooney. So rub your hands together, slap your thighs and get those tonsils exercised. It's game on tomorrow. See yer.