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Diary - Thursday 15 December 2005

15 December 2005

Jean-Paul Kamudimba Kalala, who last Saturday missed Town's fifth home defeat in the league this season, may also be unable to travel to Darlington this weekend. The Democratic Republic of Congo international is suffering from gross chaffing of the thigh and quite possibly wouldn't have been selected anyway given the improved form of Ciaran Toner in recent weeks, but his absence exposes a thinness in midfield cover as Terry Barwick continues to burn brightly, madly, like a crazy visionary poet or a seer, like the greatest doomed rock and roll superstar the world has ever seen, in his loan spell with Conference outfit York City. Speaking of Darlington, the name of their daft great big fuck-off stadium has changed to reflect whatever coterie of dreary suits has just forked up some sponsorship moolah; and the Mariners are approaching the match having just seen off unbeaten table toppers Wycombe by four goals to one, apparently. For fuck's sake.

It would be remiss of the Diary not to pass on the news that Town's official website is offering supporters the chance send a Christmas message to their heroes. "All the messages will be passed on to the lads and they will be published on the official website on Christmas Day," promises the site. Just in case any of your messages get lost in the post, perhaps you ought to email them to the Diary as well, eh?

The remainder of today's Diary comprises a lengthy and rather wonderful email from Town fan and STD consultant Felix Oliver-Tasker. Over to you, sir.

I got a brilliant birthday present from Jocasta Bumm-ffondle, one of my colleagues in the Clap Clinic; she knows everyone who matters. It consists of four team photographs in a large frame. They date from from the early 20th century when Town played in quartered shirts and white shorts, to the thirties side that won promotion to the first division and included Pat Glover, Welsh international, George Tweedy in goal and the famous half back line of Hall, Betmead and Buck. The third shows Town in white shirts with a very thin black stripe and the fourth has a young John McDermott, Birtles and Buckley grinning hugely at the camera.

Does anyone know what colour the quartered shirts were; was Bestall Road, smallest street in Grimmo, the first street to be named for a footballer; and when did George Tweedy stop playing for Town? I remember my Dad taking me as a small boy to see Town just after the Second World War, when he played alongside Billy Cairns, Tommy Briggs and Geordie Hare, so he must have been pretty old then.

Billy Cairns had a pub in Freeman Street when he retired and I seem to remember Harry Betmead had a newspaper shop in Brereton Avenue but I may be mistaken. It's a sobering thought that poor old Billy Cairns spent his retirement pulling pints and Harry Betmead selling the News of the World while today's pampered stars get more in a few weeks than they did in a lifetime of footballing.

Well, Felix, I seem to recall that the quartered shirts were chocolate and blue, but the rest of it I leave to the considerable wit and wisdom of your fellow Diary readers. So, people, email diary@codalmighty.com if you have any observations on the above, and let's give Guest Diary plenty to get his teeth into tomorrow, eh? Ta-ta for now.