Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 14 December 2005

14 December 2005

Those churches and religious people and God and that, eh? Always trying to cheapen Christmas with their messages of hope and salvation for humankind. Let us take a moment or two to ponder the true meaning of the festive season - which is, of course, spending lots and lots of money. Grimsby Town Football Club today offers you several ways to enjoy a traditional Yuletide by doing just that, and one of these is to spend lots of money in an online auction to win a place in the company of club chairman John Fenty (who is remembering the true meaning of Christmas by spending lots of money on 150,000 shares) for the Lincoln game on 28 December, and then spend lots of money on some posh clothes so that you're deemed worthy of his company. Five places are on offer at a reserve price of just 60 pounds each.

Carling Offer! chimes Town's official website, heralding a special deal whereby fans who buy the DVD of this season's League Cup run get a free one of those awful T-shirts that they printed up for the Newcastle game ("subject to availability," adds the OS, confirming your suspicion that it's just a way of clearing the shirts out of the cupboard). And there you were hoping it meant the club would hand out four free pints of lager to every full paying adult attending the Lincoln game on 28 December.

Our final item today, as we reflect that the true meaning of Christmas is rapacious consumerism, concerns the Mariners' "Festive Ticket News", or in other words how to get in to the games against Lincoln and Carlisle. Perhaps the tickets have got glitter sprinkled over them, or a Christmas cracker-style joke printed on the back. Q: What do Jean-Paul Kamudimba Kalala and Cinderella have in common? A: They can't get to the ball! See you tomorrow.