Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 4 January 2006

4 January 2006

Brave though their performance was in Monday's defeat by Carlisle, it seemed that several members of the Mariners' starting line-up were less than 100 per cent fit, and suspicions to this effect have been strengthened with the news that Justin Whittle may not play again until February. Today's Grimsby Telegraph reports that the team captain and scourge of conceited former England strikers is one of several players (also including Michael Reddy and Andy Parkinson as well as the side's legion of crocked defenders) who have been left battered and bruised by the hectic but fun Christmas and new year schedule of matches. With legendary right-back Sir John McDermott hopefully close to a recovery from that nasty ankle thing, Matt Bloomer may soon be freed up to cover for Whittle's absence in the centre of defence, but the Diary is expected to have to undergo physiotherapy shortly for strained joints caused by excessive finger-crossing.

For many millenia in the history of the human race, people have been able to rely on the regularity of certain natural phenomena as an impulse giving rhythm and structure to their lives. So important was the daily rising and setting of the sun to the ancient Babylonians, for example, that they worshipped it as a deity; in 2006, similarly, the world's greatest atomic physicists are believed to set their watches by Grimsby Town Football Club's reserve team losing matches. The latest in this cosmically steady and reliable string of defeats came yesterday afternoon at home to Huddersfield, when an unusually young second string did its usual thing of letting the other team score a few (in this instance three, two from Matty Young and one from John McAliskey) and then making a brave but not-quite-adequate fightback (in this instance with two goals in the last ten minutes, from Danny North and a lad called Bird whose first name is seemingly unknown to the club's own official website). As time ticks relentlessly on, the Universe continues to expand at a constant rate and the stiffs still bump along the bottom of their league, the only surprising feature of the match seems to have been that Town fielded 15 players.

George Burley may be this season's surprise managerial hot property, but before he joined Southampton, before he joined Hearts and even before he joined Derby his head was once rolling around the Ipswich boardroom after being neatly severed by the scythe of the Grimsby Reaper: that nefarious creature of darkness who sees to it that football managers are sacked after their team gets a bad result against Grimsby Town. Following the dismissal of Notts County's Ian Richardson last April for only drawing 2-2 at home with the Mariners, the Reaper took a nine-month sabbatical, but the break seems only to have quickened his thirst for blood, as Lincoln boss Keith Alexander now finds himself 'on leave' following his side's tonking by the Town last Wednesday night. I know we still love Big Keef despite his predilection as a manager for 'direct' football, and OK, rumours are abounding that Sincil Bank bosses are aggrieved by him wanting to move to Rotherham rather than losing at BP, but I still think we should claim this one.