Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 3 January 2006
3 January 2006
The Daily Post, which covers the Liverpool and north Wales area, has run a confusing and contradictory piece about Steve Mildenhall being punched by a home fan late on during Town's visit to Wrexham on New Year's Eve. The report states that a number of "yobs" ran onto the pitch, one of whom lamped My Lord on the ear, and that stewards handed over the offenders to police. So far, so good. Then the police said they didn't arrest anyone, despite the apparent violation of at least two laws of the land. I guess that's a decision for the police; but then the article indirectly quotes "club bosses" as saying the pitch invaders would be banned from future fixtures "if traced". Now as far as the Diary can see, being apprehended and handed over to officers of the law seems to fall pretty squarely within the definition of 'traced'. Has it not occurred to Wrexham FC simply to ask the police for the names of Mildenhall's assailants? Or did the police not even record their names before releasing them? The Diary thought the gaping holes on the left of Town's defence were pretty big until I read this story.
As viewers of BBC2's Dragon's Den are fully aware, capitalists are really nice, warm, lovable people, and not a bunch of charmless twats at all, and the human race would be greatly impoverished if the Diary were to invent a selective biological weapon to wipe them all off the face of the planet. It comes as a considerable surprise to learn, then, that local businessman Michael Rouse has issued a writ against the club he presumably professed his undying love for right up until he left its board of directors 15 months ago. Rouse lent the Mariners £50,000 at some point and has demonstrated his deep and passionate support for the club by letting it keep the money right up until now - the same time as the club's bankers have halved its overdraft facility. But don't let the odd bad apple taint your perception of business people as a whole, readers, and remember that the rest of them are every bit as nice as that charming Alan Sugar chap.
Publishing a local newspaper is difficult enough without having the piss ripped out of your efforts all the time by a smug bastard daily news summary column on an unofficial football fanzine website. But hey - they're getting paid for it, so today let's turn our contemptuous laughter to north-western rag the News & Star, which today demonstrates that its Grimsby-area counterpart is far from alone in publishing on its website football stories that cut abruptly to words such as CONTINUED ON PAGE 33. We have no way of knowing whether the News & Star also follows the Grimsby Telegraph's suit in running pro-fox hunting propaganda thinly disguised as journalism, but at least the Telegraph tends to know where it is, while the News & Star describes Carlisle's victory yesterday as "only their second win at Whaddon Road in 19 attempts". Like I say, it's really hard publishing a local newspaper, and having to employ football journalists who know what football grounds are called.
More factually challenged reporting can be found on the Mariners' official website, which ran an item yesterday stating that Tony Crane was "thought to be on his way to Worksop Town", by which time the big-boned Town defender had already put pen to paper with the Nottinghamshire non-League side and was helping them to a 2-0 defeat by Gainsborough Trinity. According to Worksop's official site, Crane started the match up front with Darren Mansaram, the loaned-out Halifax striker still listed by Town's OS as a GTFC player about a year after he swapped Blundell Park for the Shay. Cuh!
If you're back at work today and wishing you weren't, let's pretend it's still Christmas. The Diary has recently had a bit of an Email Thing going on, which means I didn't pick up all your festive electronic communications until, well, the festivities were nearly over. Here, then, is a selection of your emails flung Diary-wards during the past week and a bit.
from: Sibbo
Hi Diary. The big day is nearly here , so I'd like to wish you and the CA team best wishes for Christmas and let's hope the only way is UP in the New Year. Many thanks to all who keep the website an interesting read. See you... Sibbo.
from: Chris Parrott / re: Royalties for using the League fixture list
You could always create a fictional list made up of clubs with made-up names, thus Grumbly Town's rearranged fixture against Hotpot County on Jan 24th could be shown with impunity.
from: Dan Humphrey / re: Mirror
Page 14 today, nice headline. merry xmas. d
from: Andrew Taylor
Can I just say fandabidozee? I agree with you about Roy Player. I may become a Mariner - I went to Cleethorpes in 1982 and saw a camel on the beach.
from: Dave the Engineer
17 a beautiful mutation, no longer thomas wheres my beret pinault but glen on my head son downey. What a result UP THE MARINERS and happy new year to you all.
One can only conclude from the above that Dan had discovered the "Cod Almighty" headline in the Mirror, Andrew had better avoid the random drugs test next time he makes the subs' bench for GTFC, and Dave was stuck on the Radio Times Christmas crossword. Thanks, everyone - hope you had all had good ones, and hope work isn't too awful today. See you tomorrow.