Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Monday 20 March 2006
20 March 2006
The first day of spring. We prepare eagerly to forward our clocks. The vivid petals of the daffodil splash a happy hue of sunshine over the land. As if urging forward the season, merry cuckoos begin to, er, cuckoo. And the word 'mathematical' begins to enter discussions about football. Earlier this month Grimsby Town manager Mr Russell Slade, as we know, set a target of 81 points for automatic promotion (at the same time admitting that it was "a dangerous thing to do"), and following Saturday's tight-as-a-Yorkie's-purse win over Bury the club's official website has now replaced the batteries in its calculator, typed in the number 5318008, turned it upside down and sniggered, and eventually come up with some more figures as the fourth division promotion race stutters to its climax. The main number on Russ's Blue Peter promotion totaliser is 14, as this is the difference between the magic 81 and the 67 points his side have somehow bagged so far. With nine games left, this means 14 from 27. Is it just me, or does that sound madly achievable? Cuckoo.
As the Mariners and Rochdale tomorrow night continue their epic quest to stage a game of football, news reaches the Diary (and everyone else really, but that doesn't sound half as dramatic) of injuries to two key players of the black and white persuasion. Town's OS announces that the fitness doubts for Tuesday's re-rearranged trip to Bogland are Curtis Woodhouse (hip) and Michael Reddy (trendy). But can we ever believe a word they say? Unless the Diary is much mistaken, the match will be the first in which Justin Whittle, Fen Butcher and GTFC's player of the first half of the season, Rob Jones, will all be available for selection, and the OS also suggests that Jones could be the one to miss out, despite having discharged his debts to the Blundell Park swear box.
After recently reaching the final of a cup competition that is as prestigious as any cup competition can be with the word 'midland' in the title, Town's youth team are continuing to give a lesson to their (slightly) elders in the reserves. The club's official website is reporting that Neil Woods' teenage charges took time out from joyriding and happy slapping to win two games on the trot last week. After seeing off "Yok" by one goal to nil, the yoof went to Scunthorpe and did the same thing to them on Saturday, with the winner coming from Andy 'Not Tommy' Taylor, who scored eight times in thirty seconds or something earlier in the season. By contrast, of course, the Mariners' reserves are yet to win one game on the trot all season.
"Time for a whinge again," begins Phil Shorter in what one imagines will be a whingey email to the Diary. "Why did that bald midget replace Toner on Saturday? He was crap. Toner was having a good game (in comparison with Barnet game anyway!). What must those other midfielders left sat sitting on the bench think, if Parkie gets priority and turns in his usual nothing performance? Significant that Bury scored just after that tactical masterstroke. Reminds me of the bad old days of Laws, Law, Groves and Lyons, the famous (infamous?) predecessors to 'hoof it' Slade. Get real, cos as sure as eggs is eggs, if we go up this year, we'll do a Sunderland if there's not a change of tactics, i.e. we keep the ball down and try to play FOOTball." I thought Toner might have picked up a knock, Phil, though I could be wrong; and for all Paul Groves' shortcomings as a manager I don't think long-ball football was one. As for the success or otherwise of hoofball in the third division, sweetly passing Yeovil seem to have adapted less well this season than their fellow promotees Swansea or Southend; but yeah, Town's league position doesn't make it any prettier to watch, and yeah, it wasn't one of Parkinson's better games...