Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 21 March 2006

21 March 2006

The weather looks like it might hold out, which is more than can be said for Curtis Woodhouse's hip. As Town prepare for their third attempt this season to play a game of football at Rochdale, the Grimbo Teleo reports that the former King$ton Communication$ FC midfielder could be replaced by Jean-Paul 'Kamudimba' Kalala in tonight's line-up after picking up a knock in last Saturday's win over Bury. Of two other slight injuries in his squad, Town manager Mr Russell Slade tells the local rag: "Both Ciaran [Toner] and [Luton's] Michael [Reddy] should be OK," while in a continuing great mystery of the cosmos, Tom Newey looks set to keep Gary Croft out of the team again. Three points from this evening's trip to Bogland (ably previewed by Dave Chambers elsewhere on this website) would, of course, lift the Mariners to the top of the fourth division - at least until Carlisle win 5-0 again this weekend.

If you want customer service from Grimsby Town Football Club, don't go looking for it on their official website, because their online customer charter still gives a customer service email address which the club doesn't bother checking. If, on the other hand, you want a fast reaction to crazy rumours you hear on the radio, Town's OS is just the ticket, and the site has moved quickly today to put down the idea that the Mariners could be signing Richie Barker. The player was a target for Sort It last summer but chose to score 22 goals for Mansfield over a move to Blundell Park, and the GTFC boss professes to be as mystified as anyone else as to the rationale behind this morning's gossip. "I don't know where that has come from," Russ has told the OS, without adding: "Go away and stop wasting my time, you funny little man."

'Thinking on your feet' is an important skill in today's modern fast-moving modern workplace today, and the Blundell Park ticket office is no exception. When tickets are in high demand, Town's matchday experience admission solution providers are unfairly accused by many short-sighted supporters of "making it up as they go along" and being "a bunch of bloody muppets", when in fact they are guilty of nothing more than thinking on their feet, and delivering a flexible, proactive, customer-oriented response to changing market conditions. So it is that season ticket holders have two days from today to buy extra tickets for this weekend's visit to Lincoln, since there are 500 of the buggers left, and only from Thursday will the remainder go on "general sale". Credit where it's due.

"All this talk about how many points we need got me thinking," writes Keith Collins in an email to the Diary. "In actual fact 81 points will guarantee a play-off place whilst 88 are needed to guarantee automatic promotion. I have not taken into account that some teams have to play each other so both can't get three points per game. I have also assumed that our goal difference is worse that the other teams'." Probably a safe bet with Gary Croft stuck on the bench, Keith. "On the other hand, to guarantee fourth division football next season 64 points are needed, so we are safe for another year. I hope my maths have served me well." Quite possibly, Mr C, but they've also made me feel miserable as hell.