Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 19 July 2006

19 July 2006

When Curtis 'Eye Of The Tahgers' Woodhouse arrived at Blundell Park during January's transfer window Town's then manager Russell Slade had to make a decision as to who would make way for him in the centre of midfield. Ciaran Toner had played well but could be moved out to a wide position where he would play badly, but never mind. Jean-Paul Kalala had played well but was away at the African Cup of Nations, and Slade wouldn't have to worry about his relationship with the player afterwards as JPK would be out of contract at the end of the season and the two would never work together again. The one player not even Slade would have considered dropping was Paul Bolland, who enjoyed a consistently magnificent season and has now been rewarded for his efforts with an extended contract. As ever with the Mariners, though, nothing is quite as straightforward as that. The club's official website reported yesterday that Bolland's new deal would keep him in Cleethorpes until 2008, but has changed its tune today and now insists that the player will stick around until 2009. The third possibility is that both pages contain a series of typographical errors and the story actually concerns a playful black and white stray cat turning up at the club shop and miaowing the theme from Rentaghost every time a season ticket is sold.

The round of strains and twinges that tends to afflict the Mariners' playing squad a week or two into every pre-season has returned for 2006, with the club reporting a host of injury doubts for tomorrow night's stroll in the sunshine, also known as the Lincolnshire Cup. Sir John McDermott, Tom Newey, Slimline Jones the ex-Lump and Sergeant Whittle are the players who may join Luton's Michael Reddy on the sidelines when Lincoln come a-visiting, and former Imp Ciaran Toner is on compassionate leave following a family bereavement. No mention is made of Gary Cohen, who is now rumoured to be missing in action following a game of hide and seek during Town's recent RAF training camp in Suffolk and may still be squatting in the corner of a shipping container at Felixstowe docks.

It is concerning the players' recent game of soldiers that the Diary has received an email from Nigel Hardy (who maintains a nicely written blog in between travelling the world), and with it a clipping from the newspaper that covers the area in which they were stationed. "I thought you'd appreciate this article about our favourite team ('Girmsby Town') from the Bury Free Press (that's Bury St Edmunds)," explains Nigel. "Sir John McDermott seems to have been affected by the nuclear/biological shenanigans, if the caption is anything to go by. And Rodgerses gets another misspelling." Here it is, then, folks. If nothing else, it should make the people who do Town's official website feel a bit better...