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Diary - Tuesday 18 July 2006

18 July 2006

You know those rumours about Paul Bolland leaving? Course you do. They've been everywhere, those rumours. Every time you buy a pint of milk, the lady behind the counter in the shop is all "oooh, yeah, Paul Bolland is leaving Grimsby, y'know". Every time you go down the pub, the next table is all "oooh, yeah, Paul Bolland is leaving Grimsby, y'know". Every time you turn on the radio, it's all "oooh, yeah, war in the Middle East, but first: Paul Bolland is leaving Grimsby, y'know". What? Er, no - me neither. But GTFC have announced that Town's midfield superstar is "expected" to sign an extended contract shortly, tying him to the club until 2008 and "will now put an end to rumours linking him with a move away from Cleethorpes". Either the club's crack web team has got its ears pressed much more firmly to the ground than you and I, then, or they've just skim-read a headline on Ceefax about the other Bolland who plays for Chester and got a bit confused.

The Diary is again privileged to receive a summary of one of Town's pre-season friendlies from Mr Tony Butcher. "It was a pleasure to see such sumptuous, one-touch, free-flowing passing and movement," writes Tony on last night's run-out against Doncaster. "A cohesive team, all for one and one for all, everyone comfortable in possession, ripping opponents to shreds, at will. It was beautiful to watch. Pity they wore red and white hooped shirts." The Mariners lost 2-0, in case you hadn't seen, with Donny pretty much bossing the game - particularly down Town's left, where Booo Beagrie and Tom Newey offered little resistance - and don't get him started on his namesake Fen Butcher. Rovers took the lead from a late first-half penalty when notorious referee Carl Boyeson bought a dive, and sealed it when Fen "stopped, sighed and shrugged" as the visitors passed all around him. Richard Evans is still here and did well in the second half; Danny Boshell remains in limbo with another performance of "nothing spectacularly bad or good". Phil Barnes did well. Peter Bore impressed again early on. Gary Harkins is going to get sent off three times before Christmas. Town were beaten by a better team from a higher division. Boooooo! And nobody knows where Gary Cohen is.

Hot enough for ya? Turn up the air conditioning and tune in to the ex files, baby, as the Diary desperately pieces together a third paragraph from the exploits of former Mariners. First and foremost, GTFC legend Glen Downey - like GTFC legend Tony Crane before him - appears to be wintering in Worksop while his agent weighs up the offers from Barcelona and Inter Milan. Paul Groves' role at Portsmouth will be coach of next season's reserve team, which will probably approximate to last year's first team as Dogface Redknapp splashes the foreign cash. And after an extended trial period, Thomas Pinault has signed for Brentford, subject to a medical. It's not every season I say this, but I'm really looking forward to Brentford playing Yeovil.

It's time to turn to the Diary's inbox, where we find an email from Guest Diary clarifying the composition of the Mentos/Cola bomb in response to Andy Holt's query yesterday. "The Mentos flavour is pretty immaterial," writes GD, "but some say that diet cola works better than regular. Less sticky when clearing up, anyway. Next week I'll tell you all about drain unblocker and aluminium foil - a very explosive combination. Hehehe." Scared? I am.