Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 14 July 2006
14 July 2006
The task fell (by accident) to your Guest Diarist, and I waited until half time to find the right moment to do it. The evening was balmy, the lovely little ground that is called home by Lincoln United was as tranquil a place as you could imagine, and there was not much you could possibly find to say about the football that had just been played. "Nice to see David Gilberto again; Rankin looks old, though he isn't of course; the keeper hasn't inspired, although nothing can compare to the awful debut of Williams at Brigg can it?" "Oh, and Tony - Syd has died". The look on ace Cod Almighty match reporter Tony Butcher's face would probably have reminded a Blade Runner replicant of the sound of galaxies dying. But even that could not spoil the evening. There is nothing quite like ambling along to the first publicised kickabout of the season. You come away with no bloody idea at all as to whether any of the new faces are any good or not, but as a match day experience you cannot beat a little non-League ground. Try it at Gainsborough tonight. I just know you'll love it - especially the café where the pie, chips and peas combo is especially recommended by that bloke who used to edit the Cod Almighty postbag.
Town manager Mr Rodgerses has let it be known that he has been talking to "two well known central defenders". The official site also tells us that "Rodger, who would ideally like to have at least one more midfielder in his squad, has been in dialog with a player who played in League One last season." I will make no further comment, gentle reader, save to refer those pesky young scamps who write this stuff to a handy spelling guide.
Hiding their collective lights under a bushel as they do, it falls to me to endorse that fine eclectic set of alternatives to the Grimsby Town home gigs that the Cod Almighty staffers published this week. However, there remains a gap in this particular market until the first home game of the season - a gap I have resolved to fill by suggesting a series of home-based adventures that can be undertaken by bored readers. With Richard Dawson having skirted delicately around the fascinating subject of leg wrestling last week, I now urge you to make a coke bomb using these simple instructions:
- Buy a cheap two-litre bottle of coke e.g. Roller Cola
- Empty it to the top of the label
- Have a spare set of clothes handy and take everything outside
- Drop four Mentos (sweets - get 'em at Woollies) in to the bottle
- Run away fast. If you are really hard (and dextrous) put the top on the bottle first for an explosion as opposed to a fountain.