Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 6 July 2006

6 July 2006

Hello, Miss Guest Diary here looking forward to the match coming up. A little tootle down to Lincoln seems an excellent way to start the pre-season build up.

Oh, you thought I meant the World Cup Final - well, of course I'm looking forward to that too, if only so that I can admire the talent which will be on show; something in short supply in the current England team. I was rather partial to Frank Lampard at one time, but then I heard him interviewed on the radio describing how he likes to do a bit of "light shopping" after training. That, and the fact that during the last few England games he couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo as the (rather odd) saying goes, has put me off him somewhat.

I have also been watching talent of a different kind during this last week. Sun, scenery and sprint finishes: what more could you ask from a sporting event. Did you know that the way to prevent saddle sores is to put a piece of lanolin-soaked chamois leather in your shorts? Somehow, washing windows will never feel the same again. Of course, the Brits aren't doing too well in this event either; or the tennis. Is there any sport we are good at these days? But I've got no room to criticise: my last competitive sporting performance was a netball match when I was 11 and I'm pretty sure my team lost.

But back to our boys at the boot camp. We heard yesterday how they were "making their way down an imaginary river through an imaginary minefield". Today the Telegraph tells us they also had to "use equipment to carry them over an imaginary gorge" - I'm really hoping that doesn't make them think it's OK to make imaginary tackles and score imaginary goals next season. According to Rodgerses the week is not about fitness but about team-building. I'm all for that; let's hope it works. The official site has some pictures and, if you are a Mariners World subscriber, you can seeing action footage too. Footballers playing in gas-masks and chemical warfare suits brings a whole new meaning to the term 'solid defence'.

Keep that chamois in your shorts boys!