Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 4 July 2006
4 July 2006
Q: What's the difference between Big Brother, The X Factor and Grimsby Town FC? A: One keeps losing its mingers, one keeps losing its singers, and and the other keeps losing its wide midfielders! After the recent departure of Andy Parkinson and Junior Mendes to Notts County, Grahams Rodgerses is facing a proper old search to fill the flanks now that Marc Goodfellow has signed for Bury. 'Freezer', as people only called him on the internet, made ten league appearances for the Mariners, scoring once, and seemed to give the squad a certain creativity that was otherwise lacking, so it may surprise some to see the player being allowed to leave Blundell Park now that Rodgerses is promising a new era of flair, imagination, fun and adventure. On the other hand there are shades of Terry Cooke about Goodfellow's CV, so there may very well be sound non-football reasons for his eviction from the BP house.
WAAAAH! In tribute to Siberian tennis ace Maria Sharapova, who is due on court at Wimbledon any minute now, this paragraph of the Diary will be punctuated with WAAAAH! those strange sounds she makes while playing which are too high-pitched to be called grunts. There's still a month until the season begins, and Notts County have already signed all the dross, so things are looking good for WAAAAH! Town's search for new players and there's no need to panic. Just because the players and manager are learning how to build a dirty bomb, doesn't mean the squad-building is on hold, and according to the club's official WAAAAH! website, Graham Rodgerses "will be speaking to a midfield player later today". It is to be hoped that this means a midfield player who doesn't play for the club already and who the club is trying to sign, rather than signifying merely that the manager is having a little natter with Paul Bolland about where they went on their WAAAH! holidays.
New balls please. The last goalkeeper kept losing his swingers.
Things have been a little quiet on the Fentydome front recently - so much so, in fact, that casual followers of the Mariners might be forgiven for thinking that the club has forgotten all about the fact that it wants to build a new stadium in all the hurry to reschedule next season's entire fixture calendar for Friday nights. Just to assure us to the contrary, then, a item on the OS urges us all to write letters to the local planning department telling them why the Fentydome and its associated retail centre are a completely brilliant idea and won't in any way attract to matches only a couple of thousand half-interested locals who will mostly trickle away by Christmas, still less suck away what little vitality and commercial vigour remain in Grimsby's town centre. All of which sounds a great idea to the Diary, but I will be prevented from taking part (for a reason that remains unexplained, you have to address your letters to the council but send them to Positive John) by my personal rule not to comply with any request that includes the word 'synergy'.