Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 2 August 2006

2 August 2006

Do you think I should reword this? Those plebs in the stands won't know what we're on about. We might need to simplify it so they can understand. Restrict it to words of one syllable... oh, hello! Didn't see you there! Now I'm sure we would all like to leave aside the issue of which clubs may or may not be queueing up for the services of Luton's Michael Reddy and focus upon the real, hard news this Wednesday lunchtime. Unfortunately there isn't any, so we will have to note that the latest club added to the Reddy rumour list is Sheffield United, which would be even funnier than Leeds.

Gary Cohen's chances of stepping into Reddy's falling-over boots have taken a knock with the news that he won't be playing any football for, er, an indeterminate length of time. Town's official careless whisper website reports that the nippy forward has had an operation on the dicky knee that has prevented him taking any part in the side's pre-season programme, but is less than clear about the time the player may take to recuperate. The piece begins by stating plainly that Cohen "is likely to be sidelined for several weeks" but later quotes GTFC physio Dave Moore, who "would be disappointed if he wasn't available over the next two or three weeks". This seems a little self-contradictory to the Diary, unless Moore is referring to the likelihood of Town's orthopaedic surgeon going on holiday.

It's Diary quiz time now, and ten points go to the first reader who can identify the speaker in the following famous quotation. "Grimsby was a really bad place to live. The town was really old and there wasn't much to do there. It was full of fishermen and it smelled of fish all the time. It was not a very nice place to be and I prefer the smell of London." Oh, good guess - but Pope Benedict XVI has never actually lived in Grimsby. It was actually Thomas 'The Frenchman' Pinault, who has doubtless provoked a flurry of frogs' legs messageboard rants with yesterday's cathartic (and very funny) outpouring of why Brentford are a much better club to play for than, um, er, who was it again? What many observers - and indeed Thomas himself - appear to have forgotten is that the hotel he lived at during his year with the Mariners was above the Radio Humberside offices in Hull. So there was a nice way to mark Yorkshire Day.

Town still haven't signed anyone, in case you were wondering - though they were apparently after Orient's Daryl McMahon - so let's sneak a peek at the opposition. The Mariners' first adversaries of the 2006-07 season, Boston, are promising a return to the Conference. Hang on - that can't be right. Can it? "We have totally changed our style and will be more like in our Conference days," cuddly Steve Evans has told the BBC. "We are going to try and open teams up by passing," he added hastily, before anyone could ask: "What, you mean you're going to win promotion by making illegal payments to players?"

Today's Diary ends with our brief weekly look at the fortunes of an irrelevant former Grimsby player, and after a year out of football with cruciate damage Danny Coyne has been restored to the Wales squad for a friendly against Bulgaria later this month. Do I care? About as much as Coyne did during his final season at Blundell Park.