Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 1 August 2006
1 August 2006
He came, he saw, he fell over. Then he asked for a transfer four days before the start of the new season. Grimsby fans have realised for a while now that Luton's Michael Reddy has enough of a sense of timing to know exactly when to try and get a penalty by pretending he's been fouled, but what nobody knew until now is that this skill extends to choosing the perfect moment to bugger up his club's plans for the following nine months. The jelly-legged Hatters forward has "stunned the club" by requesting a move, reports Town's official website, adding that GTFC had only just been in talks with the player over an extension to his contract beyond 2007. The club's directors will "consider Reddy's request" (for which read "consider how to get the biggest possible wodge for him") but for the time being the 26-year-old Irishman remains a Luton player.
As Platitudinous Uncle Diary is fond of saying, though, just as one door closes another one signs a new three-year contract. And how right he is, for Mariners left-back Tom Newey has done precisely that, even as Reddy has been plotting his exit from Kenilworth Road. Announcing the news that Tom will stay until 2009, the club's website says that the player "has quickly become one of the most consistent performers in the Mariners' ranks" and adds that he "has one of the best left foots" in Town's division. Sometimes, during my wilder flights of fancy, I suspect that the writers of the OS are doing it on purpose, just so that they can see their work quoted in the Diary, when they publish text that includes such horrendous mistakes as this one. And that bit about "left foots" is quite bad as well.
What happened last night? The Diary went to a pub music quiz and floundered badly during the 'spot the connection' round, which comprised seven songs that all peaked at number seven during the year 1977. When I got back after drinking seven pints of ale, I discovered from Ceefax that Town had beaten Leeds 1-0, and went to bed a happy Diary. Then when I got up this morning and turned the computer on I discovered that Town and Leeds had actually drawn 1-1. (I wasn't drunkenly hallucinating because Soccerbase still says 1-0 now - look!) My disappointment was assuaged, though, by an email from CA match reporter/commentator Tony Butcher, who described a much-improved performance from Grahams Rodgerses's charges, with only some hesitance in central defence counting against an exciting display of attacking football. Oh, and a big blooper from Phil Barnes for the visitors' equaliser. But Peter Bore continued to press for a first-team call-up with an electrifying performance; Isaiah Rankin looked zippy and menacing; Gary Harkins started to look like a footballer; and Peter Beagrie tracked back occasionally. Despite several edits, the report on the OS still manages to describe the entire first half twice, and explains that "Town handed a trial to former Liverpool striker Rob Foy who was on the bench", only to end with a line-up of starters and substitutes that doesn't mention Foy anywhere. They are doing it on purpose, aren't they.
It's the line-up that's wrong and the other bit that's nearly right, anyway, as former Liverpool winger Robbie Foy replaced Bore after 57 minutes. Edinburgh-born Foy is 20 years old and was released by the Merseyside former big club at the end of last season, following loans at Chester (13 appearances, no goals) and Wrexham (eight starts, 12 subbings-on, three goals). He is primarily a left winger but can also play on the right or up front. A bit of Diary googling reveals that he has been capped five times by Scotland at under-21 level and failed a trial with Dunfermline last month, while a bit more Diary googling further reveals that he also has a good line in sledging. Move over, Marco Materazzi. OK, just fall over, then.
Back to Town's official website, where an item on a council planning meeting about the new stadium unexpectedly manages to be interesting. The text suddenly breaks off from a list of benefits that the Fentydome will allegedly bring to the local community to wonder aloud: "I am not sure that the social inclusion hub works at this stage. Most people will not understand what it is and will be confused. The application does not include most of the facilities included in the hub. Surely it is better to keep the message simple? Would it be better to end this bullet point after the first sentence?" Hmmmm. Do you think they included that bit on purpose, just to get into the Diary?
Today's final word goes to Peter Hopgood, who is coming out in public via the Diary. Picking up on yesterday's reference to the 31 class loco, Peter wishes his family and friends to know that he is a trainspotter and proud: "I always think of GTFC as a LNWR Webb Compound 2-2-2-0. Nice to look at but the wheels went round in different directions when starting! Allegedly." Thanks Peter. I don't get the reference but I'm sure it makes sense. I don't get the reference at all. Not me. Nuh-uh. Ahem... so, in tomorrow's Diary: is Fen Butcher a Cyberman? We investigate! And Boston United's links to the Torchwood project... allegedly.