Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 5 September 2006
5 September 2006
Stories about Curtis Woodhouse are everywhere now that the former Town midfielder is approaching his boxing debut, and the lesson is that footballers can actually say interesting things when they're not footballers any more. Last week we discovered just how thoroughly sick of football Curt was during the weeks in which he played a key role in the Mariners' failed recent bid for promotion. Today, courtesy of an interview in the Guardian, we can finally stop worrying over the mental state of the players who failed in Cardiff back in May, because they all went out afterwards and had the time of their lives. "At the end the dressing room was deathly quiet and some lads were crying," reveals the welterweight. "Football's strange, though, because the mood of a team changes very quickly. After a shower and a few beers we had a great night together. I can't even remember what time I rolled in the next morning." Gives you a lovely warm glow, doesn't it. Just remind me how much those tickets cost.
We like Martin McIntosh, don't we. Shame he's going back to Huddersfield in two weeks.
As President Blair ponders a farewell stadium tour - with celebrated tax avoiders the Rolling Stones rumoured to be lined up as the support act - Chairman Fenty is urging Town fans to stay put and keep faith in Grahamsssss Rodgerssss, the man he believed supporters would be delighted to see get the manager's job at BP. The Mariners' ropey start to the season has had Grimbarians grumbling like John Prescott's tummy after a dodgy Hull curry, and Positive John has told the redesigned (further downmarket) Grimsby Telegraph: "I am pleading with the fans to be patient and stick with us. It isn't all going to happen overnight. The team is trying to play more football. My message to the doubters is to judge us in three or four months' time." Alas, for those born within sight of the Dock Tower, every season is a winter of discontent; and if Town are top of the table in three or four months' time playing football that would make Arsenal weep with envy, the fans will be threatening not to renew their season tickets because the sky above Blundell Park is the wrong shade of blue.
Speaking of the Fentydome, which we were yesterday, does anyone remember the GTFC New Stadium website? GTFC evidently don't, because it hasn't been updated for seven months. "The announcement about the new stadium... shows the club is going in the right direction," says Russell Slade. Nice to know he cares.
One way to deal with Town's poor form is, of course, to take a leaf out of Curtis Woodhouse's book - not by beating the living shit out of somebody, of course, but by drinking yourself into oblivion! What a good thing it is, then, that this page debated the merits of various beers while I was away recently, and an even better thing that some of the emails accumulated during my absence do likewise. "Dear Sir," begins Tom Allen, who is either very polite or believes the Diary is John McDermott. "Have you tried Jennings bitter from Cockermouth in Cumbria? I recommend the brewery tour. The beer used to help drown many a sorrowful night after watching Workington reds." Yes Tom, and very nice it is too. Enjoy it while you can, though, because the Jennings brewery was bought by Wolverhampton & Dudley a year ago and will probably end up brewing that vile Banks's stuff instead.
Felix Oliver-Tasker, probably the poshest-named Town fan in the world, has also contributed on this tasty topic. "We in the Reading area are quite fortunate in that there are half a dozen or so excellent breweries within a 20-mile radius of the town," he writes. "Admittedly they are effete, poncy southern breweries which can't compete with those in the north but in their own quiet way are really quite good. The West Berkshire Brewery makes excellent beer; in fact Maggs Magnificent Mild is superb. We've got the Lodden brewery just down the road which makes Ferryman's Gold and Mayfly, both of which are very good, and not too far off in Mapledurham there's Butlers. Butts Barbus Barbus is good too and Hogs Back at Tongham brew TEA, which is also good. Of course I must mention the greatest laxative known to man, Felch and Bart's Old Bog Filler. The company motto is 'the bigger the bog the better'. So when Sister Jocasta Bumm-ffondle and I feel the urge for something wet and stimulating in our mouths, we get down to the probably best backstreet boozer west of the Pecos River and get stuck into some brilliant southern beers. When Town and Reading meet in the Conference we'll get together and sink a few. As far as Town is concerned, the way they are playing now it could be sooner than we think."