Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 4 September 2006

4 September 2006

Hello, and welcome. This is your regular Diary reporting back after an extended period of absence caused by illness, stress, existential anxiety and, worst of all, work. As the leading writer of the Diary, who kept this page going with a series of outstanding performances last season, I expect my return to be greeted with a chorus of boos by the Mariners faithful.

What have we learned from the draw against Macclesfield? We have learned that Danny Boshell is ace, that some Town fans lead the world in the search for new and innovative ways to embarrass their fellow supporters and demotivate their own players, and that Friday football is shit. Some of the above we may have known already, but it never hurts to be reminded. I can cope with crap results; it's just the crap fans that make me feel like jacking the whole thing in.

So the transfer deadline came and went and, rather than stretching out on a three-piece suite of defender, midfielder and striker, Raham Grodgers had to content himself with the footstool of Red Card Ricky Ravenhill. Before we start calling for him to be sacked, drawn and quartered, though, let us remember that Football League clubs remain free to get players in on loan outside the transfer window and, wouldn't you know it, that's exactly what Town's beleaguered manager is planning to do. "We will be looking to get a player in on loan," Grodge has told the official website. Said player will be a forward, allowing for the injuries carried by Gary Cohen and Luton's Michael Reddy, who is having exploratory surgery today on his troublesome groin, or hip, or whatever it is. Said forward will not be Jermaine McSporran, adds Rodgerses, because he has turned into a midfielder. Wha'ever.

Let us cross our fingers, meanwhile, for the health of Town's central defence - and for an extension to the loan of Mac2 - because the young reserve centre-half most likely to step up to the first team, Miles Chamberlain, is badly injured. How do we know this? Not from Town's official website; not from the Grimsby press; but from the Eastwood & Kimberley Advertiser, the local paper of Eastwood Town FC, where Milo spent some of last season on loan. "Miles picked up a nasty injury after signing a six-month contract at Grimsby and is still limping badly. If things don't pan out for the youngster, he has promised Paul first refusal on his services," reports the Nottinghamshire rag, flagrantly misusing the phrase "pan out". That's Paul as in the manager of Eastwood Town, Paul Cox, by the way; not the apostle of Christ and author of the books of Romans, First and Second Corinthians, Galatians, Philippians, First Thessalonians, Philemon and many more.

In an effort to make its board more accessible to fans, Grimsby Town Supporters Trust is to hold a meeting this Saturday evening and is inviting the whole town. The event is to take place at 6pm, an hour after the end of the Mariners' game against Walsall, at the Grosvenor pub in Cleethorpes. Organisers are hoping that the open meeting will be attended by both members and non-members, though possibly not Tony Gallimore.

The Diary's heart is gladdened by the hundreds of emails that poured in while I was away. The Diary's heart is a bit less gladdened by the fact that most of them were trying to sell me Viagra or online casinos, but you've got to take what you can get. Richard Bedwell was moved to write in response to an email from David Elsey, way back on 23 August, about turning the BP pitch through 90 degrees instead of building the Fentydome. Bedders is unconvinced: "Demolishing the Main Stand and turning the pitch doesn't leave much room before you reach the railway line," he writes. "Though if you extended the pitch a bit more and build the stand beyond the railway and invested in a couple of very large crossing gates, you might be on a winner, as you could shut them every time Town were defending the North Sea end." But could the gates be pushed up front to get their head on the end of set pieces? Anyway, let us remember that the Fentydome will mean a gateway to Grimsby and a boost to the literacy skills of local children, not to mention an end to global terrorism and a platform to leverage some synergistic benchmarking paradigms. The days are long gone when a football ground actually had anything to do with football.

That's just about all I've got the energy for today. Thanks for reading, and I'll try and catch up with more of your emails on Tuesday. It's nice to be back. T'ra!