Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 1 September 2006

1 September 2006

Hi guys! Durham Diary here, trying desperately to explain to you the things I really don't understand myself. So apologies if you don't have a clue what I'm on about. Please keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times. Hope you enjoy the ride.

What do moths, burglars, and the smell of fresh horse excrement spread on the fields have in common? Easy - they all come in through the window and you'd really rather they didn't. Depending on your point of view you might add Ricky Ravenhill to that little list, after the midfielder signed for £5,000 from Doncaster on the final day of the transfer window yesterday. Ravenhill, who has been on loan at Chester this season, has made 162 starts and 112 substitute appearances in his career to date, during which time he has amassed a worrying five red and 36 yellow cards. And he won't play against Macclesfield tonight due to being suspended for the most recent of those red 'uns. That's the bad news.

Now let's apply some positive spin, which is something we did about in the particle theory topic of my physics A-level. Not that Ravenhill has anything to do with that at all, unless he drives a Proton, I suppose. What I'm getting round to telling you is that Chester had to release Jermaine McSporran, Freddy Potter and Adam Wade yesterday to get their wage bill down below the stipulated 60 per cent of their turnover. And Chester boss Mark Wright really wanted to sign Ravenhill permanently, but was not allowed to do so because of the wage cap thingy. And despite, or perhaps because of, their mismanagement of the money situation, they'd agreed a five-figure sum with Doncaster, which means the £5,000 we paid was a bargain. So there you have it: positive spin that Alistair Campbell, Johnnie McFenty, Mr Beverley my old physics teacher and Monty Panesar would all be proud of. Which I guess is probably the good news.

Oh, and the Chester Chronicle reckons we're going to sign that McSporran fellow as well, but in true Ted and Ralph style, "I wouldn't know about that, sir."

Every time I visited Town's official website over the summer I was invited to watch "highlights" (I can only presume they were being ironic) from the play-off final defeat. Which I really didn't want to do. And every time I've visited Town's official website this week I've been invited to watch highlights from the 3-0 drubbing by Bury last weekend. At least since Town are playing tonight and not tomorrow that's one day less that the aforementioned disaster will be listed as our most recent game. As alluded to in today's second paragraph, Town will face Macclesfield at home tonight aiming to halt their alarming run of recent results. Flowin' Cohen won't play, His Holiness McDermott faces a fitness test before the game, and everyone else is available if selected.

Which is very nearly all I'm going to tell you today. Geographically challenged but financially gifted business-type people have set up a corporate effort between the club and the Derbyshire Building Society, but I really don't understand and I don't have any money to invest anyway, so I'll shut up. See you all at the game.